“I am one of those people who can’t just accept a compliment and move on. I need to be creative by burying the other person under a pile of outrageous attributes that even a loving grandmother would have troubling believing”…
Yours truly, resident cheerleader of the year
Do you struggle to accept compliments? There could be several reasons. Maybe you have difficulties believing nice things about yourself? Maybe you have resident cheerleader syndrome, meaning you believe your job is to empower people with you of course being the enlightened one?
Here is an excerpt of a typical conversation between me and a female acquaintance:
A female colleague is wearing a nice skirt and I, resident cheerleader of the year rush in to sing her praise. As a true Libra I am proud to say we’ve raised cheerleading to an art form. Of course some less enlightened souls would call it relentless ass kissing (namely dear husband who firmly believes one should tell people the truth even if it means social suicide).
Me: “Oh my God! You look absolutely stunning in that skirt”.
Colleague: “You think so?”
Coll.: “Not so sure…”
Me: “Of course! I mean look at you!”
Coll.: “Oh, I don’t know. It’s such an old thing…”
Me: “Listen, you look good okay?” I said realizing this could probably last the whole day and I still needed to earn a living. At this point my desire to wrap things up is really strong so I discreetly start looking for the nearest exit. But just then, she turns the whole thing upside down and gives ME a compliment.
Colleague: “Well, what about you, Missy?”
Me: “Yes, what about me?”
Coll.: “Well look at you, you’d look good in that skirt, unlike me!”
Me: “Ooooooh!!! You think so?”
Coll.: “Absolutely! With your perfect butt and all!”
Me: “Oh stop! I’d much prefer to have nice curvy hips like yours?”
Coll.: “Oh no! Why? Trust me you don’t need that in your life.”
Me: “Well, let me tell you when I gain weight I feel like my butt could serve as my personal calling card.”
Coll.: “Oh no! you have the perfect butt!”
Me: “Stop! You’re the prize, not me!”
Coll.: “Noooooo, you are the real deal!”
Me: “Nooooooo! You missy are the business!”
Well, in case you’re wondering we did manage to get some work done that day…
There’s also Scenario 2 where some people just gobble down the compliment like it’s part of your job description🙄.
All this aside, a lot of us do that. Why do we do that, though? We can’t just accept a compliment and move on. Sometimes you stop to give someone a quick compliment and end up spending the rest of the day trying to convince them you’re not crazy or blind.
What to say then? You could say: “Thank you, you’re so kind!” or “Thank you for noticing!”.
Notice how I am always trying to add something else after the “thank you”🤦🙋. I am afraid it’s time to put this on my list of things to get therapy for……
What about you dear readers? Do you or someone you know do that as well? I want to hear about it!
Gros bisoux and talk soon!