self improvement

Sticking to an exercise routine

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Will walk for a double espresso with 3 brown sugars.

How many times have you tried to encourage or enforce a certain behaviour simply with fear of punishment?

In my case, plenty of times. In fact me think self-flagellation may be my default-mode😫. You can read all about my torture chamber here and I can’t even promise I won’t be back Workout that delivers: 30 min hit

The carrot and stick method

According to Wikipedia The phrase “carrot and stick” is a metaphor for the use of a combination of reward and punishment to induce a desired behaviour.

An example of “stick” I’d try to beat myself with in order to exercise regularly:

Me to myself: “Do you want thighs that look like Swiss cheese?”😛

The vision of a future me with “Swiss cheese thighs” kept me motivated for like 5 seconds after which I ate an enormous piece of french toast.  Plus it’s not like I walk around with my thighs around my neck where everybody can see them, so that wasn’t motivation enough.

“With the proper carrot, there’s absolutely no need for a stick of any kind. It’s a simple case of something to look forward to VS something to be afraid of.”

Instead of a “stick” (punishment), I decided to use the “carrot” (reward)

Lately, I’ve been averaging 8,000 – 10,000 steps a day…effortlessly…no matter the weather.

My secret? There’s a little coffee shop located in the bus station nearby our house so to motivate myself to walk for 45 minutes every morning, I decided that instead of taking my morning coffee at home, I’d walk 20 minutes back and forth (total 45 minutes) to go and get my coffee at the said coffee shop.

Since I am addicted to my morning coffee anyways I might as well couple it with something  healthy and beneficial, like walking.

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Will walk for a double-espresso with 3 brown sugars. I feel so accomplished I could cry😎!

Doesn’t matter if it’s windy, slippery, rainy, cold, humid, I’ve got to get my coffee so I’ve got to walk. Period. I am not even doing it for my health, as sad as this sounds, I am doing it for a double espresso with three brown sugar. Yes I know sugar! the shame of it all! BUT it gets me walking.

I forbid myself to take my first cup of coffee at home.  At first it was a bit difficult since I usually take my morning coffee with dear husband. So I’d leave the house before dear husband wakes up so I am not tempted by seeing him drinking his coffee.

It’s been working pretty well so far and I intend to keep going. I suppose you have to know what motivates you and try a few things before settling on anything particular.

Anyways, I hope I was able to motivate you even if briefly to try and stay active any way you can during those quarantine times.

If you have something that’s been working for you, please do share. I’d love to hear it! Bisoux!😘🐍

The high cost of being the bigger person

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The high road and all the things in between…

“The problem with being the bigger person is over time, you really do become a bigger person….you basically become fat. Why? Cause you’re so busy trying to one-up mother Theresa on the throne of goodness and light you just don’t realize your emotions have been eating you up the whole time.”

Spoken like a professional “bigger person”.

The past few weeks have been really stressful. I usually like to view myself as the eye of the storm, the peaceful warrior, a classy person, a lady, the person with the bright smile under pressure. Unfortunately, this fabulous bubble I usually like to build around myself was violently busted. I found myself being hurried, busted and wait for it…SWEARING😱…yes, swearing all the freaking time. Which makes me think a lot of behaviors we’ve come to consider as character traits are in fact products of our environment. Last week I found out it’s very difficult to remain a lady when dealing with shitheads (here we go again swearing🙄) over an extended period of time.

“Put yourself often enough in other people’s shoes and pretty soon even your own shoes won’t fit. So stay in your own damn shoes!”

I was discussing a particular stressful situation I am currently experiencing with an acquaintance of mine and he advised me, if I can, to take the high road and try and buy some peace for the time being. It was good, sensible advice except sometimes peace may end up costing you way more than a full-on war would.

“Take the high road they say…be the bigger person they say…Over the years I’ve realized the high road is not all accolades and bright lights. In fact, the high road is full of hair loss,  tooth decay, cystic acne, wrinkle and bitterness.😓”

Spoken by a person who can’t seem to get off the high road…

In life we do a lot of things for a lot of reasons. Sometimes these reasons are right and sometimes they’re wrong but whatever the reason, there’s always a cost and the cost of any action even small is life. With any action, life is either gained in terms of a fully, happier life or life is lost in terms of loss of quality of life, regrets, bitterness and sometimes even diseases. So before you try and be the next mother Theresa think carefully of the cost cause there is certainly a cost which I am pretty sure even mother Theresa had to pay. If you’re thinking of buying peace know that sometimes peace costs more than war. This was my two cents when it comes to being the bigger person and all the stuff in between…

After this civilized rant I can only hope I’ve helped a tiny bit in getting you ready for Monday by sending you guys out into the big bad world all selfish and petty:😏😼) Thank you for reading and talk soon! Gros bisoux!

So what if it has already been done before?

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“It’s about taking chances, growth and overcoming.“

Last Sunday I had an interesting conversation with dear husband on the subject of doing things that have already been done before. That day, I’d just had one of the most productive afternoon (during which I edited a blog post The challenges of being an introvert. ) and tackled other content related stuff. Naturally, I just couldn’t wait to get home and receive duly praise:

Me: “I had such a productive day today! It felt so good to finally tackle some stuff.”

Dear husband: “I am so proud of you, honey! You’ve got this! You just need to keep going.”

Naturally, with such an overwhelmingly positive reception I proceeded to overextend myself by making grand plans to take over the world in the next 48 hours🙄🤯.

Me: “Thank you honey! I am also planning on posting more often say like twice a week and maybe add some type of style content to the blog. We’ll see!”

DH: Complete silence. The sort of polite and respectful silence you’d give a dying patient making plans for the future. 

Me: “Hello?!! What do you think?”

DH: “You mean like a What I wore today kind of thing? Everybody’s doing that!”

Me: “Well, would you prefer I do a what I did not wear today instead?” I said frustrated.

DH: “Well, I am sorry for interrupting your world domination plans with a dose of reality but somebody’s got to be the voice of reason in all this!”

Me: “Right now, you’re sounding more like the voice of doom!”

DH: “All am saying is you have something good here so tick with it. Don’t chase too many things at once.”

Vexed and irritated, I retrieved into an honorable silence to lick my wounds. 

The man does have a point considering I’ve been known for getting overly excited and then quickly dropping into sudden desperation. BUT on the other hand…

There’s absolutely nothing new under the sun. Most everything have all been done before and done to death. Should that stop you and me from engaging in something we may possibly end up loving? Certainly not! Easier said than done, I know😅.

“Sometimes it’s difficult to be original from the get go and find the right angle from the outside, so we should get into the habit of getting involved in things that interest us and cultivate them with no expectation other than learning and having fun. Detachment from the outcome is key here.”

Last but not least, we must remember that it hasn’t been done until we’ve done it (Insert smug and overbearing emoji here). 

Fun fact: Sex is one thing that has been done and done to death yet this has never stopped anyone from indulging…🤫

What about you, dear readers? Have you gone through a similar thing? How did you handle it? Please share! Gros bisoux and talk soon!🐍😘

The cult of perfection: waiting for the perfect whatever…

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Dear reader, I sincerely thought I had learned this lesson but my recent obsessions clearly show I haven’t so here I am again talking about the same thing in an effort to try and convince myself that I’ve actually learned something along the way….I sometimes feel stuck in a constant relearning cycle. Do you sometimes feel the same?

According to Shunryu Susuki, a Zen monk and teacher who helped popularized Zen Budhism in the U.S.:

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities but in the expert’s there are a few”.

Let’s take a leaf from zen budhism, let’s talk about “shoshin”. According to Wikipedia “shoshin” is a word from Zen budhism meaning beginner’s mind. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject at an advanced level, just as a beginner would.

What would we become if we weren’t afraid of failing? If we weren’t afraid of making a fool of ourselves? If we weren’t afraid to begin? If we weren’t afraid of judgement? If we were convinced we had something to bring to the table even when we don’t even know what that is? The possibilities would be endless, wouldn’t they? Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the missed opportunities in my life, all because I have the very bad habit of waiting for everything to be perfect to even consider beginning anything. Well, except for this blog because I had my husband on my back 24/7.

This reminds me of conversations I have with my husband all the time:

Take One: We are out shopping.

Hubby: “Look at that top, honey it’s off-shoulder and would look great on you.”

Me: “Well, my shoulders are too meaty…once I lose those pesky 10 pounds yeah, most definitely…”

Hubby: “Oh, I think I get it now (with the bright face of someone who just solved a complicated puzzle)! “

Me: “What? what is it? (Waiting with great anticipation)”

Hubby: “Correct me if I am wrong but your life is basically on hold until you lose those 10 pounds…right?”

Me: “(greatly annoyed because it’s the truth) You make it sound so bad the way you say it.”

Hubby: “If it sounds bad, it’s because its bad!”

Take number 2: Discussing my instagram account which I have yet to feed.

Hubby:” Why don’t you publish something…anything on your instagram account?”

Me: “As soon as I lose a couple of pounds, I will…”

Hubby: “????!!!!!!(Deep frowns…clear signs he’s struggling to grasp the concept.)”

Me:” Well, right now I look like a pregnant mouse in most of my pics…”

Hubby: “You’re kidding, right?”

There you have it! The theme song of my life: Always waiting for the perfect time, the perfect moment, the perfect day, the perfect weather, you name it! It’s a vicious circle and pretty soon you find yourself paralyzed.

Most often, we are waiting to be perfect to show up but guess what? You’re never going to be perfect. You’re never going get better until you start because you only get better by doing. The only way to get a shot at perfection, if that’s even possible, is by doing. So go do you. Maybe I should print this and keep it in my wallet as a daily reminder 🙂 I have a feeling I need this advice more than you guys, lol.

Gros bisoux and talk soon!