“When I was little, one of my dreams when I grow up was to shop until I faint. I do. I shop and dear husband faints (Once he realizes the amount of stuff, still with the tag on, I’ve got hiding in the back of my closet)“
I don’t know for you but I find shopping incredibly relaxing. Online shopping, that is. It allows me to clear my head, sort of like a mental flossing. Considering I am in a broke period of my life right now, I mostly browse online. There’s actually very little buying involved. Shameful, I know….Of course it would be nice if a black AmEx card could magically appear while I am doing so but, what can you do, eh? It’s clear I was born to suffer😞🤕.
With quarantine helping, my only solace now lies in filling and emptying my cart online either at H&M or Zara. I don’t actually empty the cart myself…someone (a sadist, no doubt) usually ends up buying the item. The way it’s done is just heartbreaking. The bought item appears crossed out but you can still see it.
Which usually sends me into a pity fest of ”why me😞” with pink violins playing in the back. The last time I woke up to find one my fav item crossed out, dear husband walked in on me, probably thinking I’ve just gotten news somebody died:
Dear husband: “What’s going on”?
Me: “Somebody just bought that olive leather skirt I just put away”
Dear husband: “Still buying stuff you don’t need?”
Me: “No, it’s not that. I mean I don’t actually buy them. I just fill my cart…it’s kind of my happy place right now…”
Dear husband looked sincerely relieved. His training is working. I am adulting big time and it’s all thanks to him. He smiles with the satisfaction of one who specializes in training hard-headed fools….😋😎
Dear husband: ” Thought I was your happy place?
Me: ” Not funny, you know. My closet and by extension my life may never feel whole without this skirt.😔”
Dear husband: “Don’t worry. It’ll come back.”
Me: “How do you know?”
Dear husband:” I do it too.”
Shocker! The man actually has a soul. He feels things much deeper than I ever thought he could. Maybe all is not lost after all….
Now if you’re one of those warrior minimalist type, you’re probably thinking to yourself: “Great! Another sick person trying to pass off their addiction as useful!” You’re absolutely right.
What about you, dear friend? (I always feel like I should be wearing a matching set while saying dear), what’s your happy place? If it’s online
shopping browsing, Dm me. We could create a Facebook group. We could call it, say, “Broke online browsers anonymous”. What do you say?
Gros bisoux and stalk soon!😘🐍