THINGS I’VE DONE TO AVOID DEALING WITH REAL LIFE PROBLEMS

In this week’s episode of things I’ve done to avoid dealing with real life problems…

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“The following could easily be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?”

 

First, let’s weed out the “tackle it now” crowd with a couple of meaningful questions๐Ÿ˜‰.

Has your shit hit the fan and people are dropping like dead flies but somehow you still can’t smell it?

Do you routinely give advice you don’t even know how to apply in your own damn life?

Do you look like you always have your shit together even when you’re basically walking around in a deep state of coma?

If so I have a list of small changes that you’re gonna love. These are things I’ve personally done instead of tackling real life problems. Thank me later.๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ

  1. Shaving my head hoping it’ll uncloud my judgement๐Ÿ™„. The minute all my hair’s gone I morph into a puddle of regret, despair and bad decisions.
  2. Make a five-year plan for my husband hoping he’ll make it big and I, yours truly, can finally shop all day. Conniving and delusional…an unbeatable combination, if you ask me ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜
  3. Call my niece and give her “life advice” I myself never practice. Luckily for me she’s a very polite young lady: She just answer the call two weeks later.
  4. Go shopping with money I don’t have hoping a new look will give me a new outlook on life. It’s all about “investing in yourself”…you know…new look, new attitude…๐Ÿ˜”
  5. Paint my nails a bright colour hoping it’ll bring clarity and direction into my life.
  6. Revisit a 5-year plan and pretend it’s a brand new one. Well, technically yes, since I don’t remember doing any of it.๐Ÿ˜
  7. Call a long time bestie and speculate on the meaning of life without ever mentioning any action plan. We usually finish by rounding up the usual suspects: our parents.

Of course, all of this could be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?

Now that you know all my secrets, I hope you won’t mind sharing yours๐Ÿ˜›. Go on and share! I won’t tell!

Gros bisous and talk soon!๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

Things I do to avoid writing on the blog๐Ÿ™„

In my blogging journey, I’ve had days when I was so excited to write a blog post my hands could barely keep up with my thoughts. I’ve also had days when I’d gladly chose to be a loser for the rest of my life than sitting down at my computer and write a simple blog post.ย  So I thought I’d give you a glimpse into my “thought process” or the lack of it when inspiration and motivation have left the building without as much as a fair warning.

In this week’s episode of things I’ve done still doing to avoid writing on this blog๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™„

  • Call a long time bestie to discuss the latest skin care hacks and compare notes. Believe it or not beautiful, shiny skin can and will make you look more successful than you actually are…thank me later๐Ÿ˜Ž
  • Review my vision board and double-check if having a blog really fit into my plan for my life๐Ÿง
  • Nag my husband about something that happened way before we even met and hold him personally responsible. Unbelievable, I know…Dear husband has recently stopped falling for that one. Now he patiently wait until I finish rambling, opens my computer, pulls out a chair and instructs me to start writing ASAP.๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ
  • Paint my nails a bright colour to get in a “writing mood” except nail painting is usually closely followed by full-face makeup plus a couple of YouTube videos on how to “sort out your life”. At this point I am officially down the rabbit hole and there is no turning back…ever.๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿคช
  • Wake up at 5:00 o’clock specifically to write but first start by watching a movie to relax. Promptly fall asleep and wake up just in time for work.๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿคค
  • Make myself a coffee. Once coffee’s ready, realize I really want a latte. Makes latter and go watch 30 minutes of something…anything…
  • Go through contact list and see who I haven’t called in a while and promise myself I’d start writing as soon as I give them a call. By the time I am done, it’s night time.
  • Briefly check the same Instagram account to see if anything has changed since the last time I checked which is probably half a second ago.
  • Write a list of things to do that should have been done 10 years ago.
  • And the list goes on….

Of course while I am doing all this dear husband is patiently observing and trying to gauge when I might exactly…finally…start writing that long-awaited blog post until of course he loses patience and instructs me to start writing now.

As you can see no stone is left unturned in the war against productivity.

Now that you know all my top tips for the most unproductive day, I hope you won’t mind sharing some of the stuff you do to avoid doing things that you know you have to do. Please do share! Bisoux๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

 

 

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE LANGUAGES

“Don’t treat people how you yourself would like to be treated, treat people how they themselves want to be treated. There is a big difference…”

What is love? Love means different things for different people for sure. We all have different ways of showing and receiving love. I suppose it all boils down to love language. To me love is action. I can see it’s the same for my husband as well except we take different actions to show we care. I have noticed people have a tendency to express love the same way they would like it expressed towards them.

“I’d say my love language is pretty simple…I inspire meaning I am your muse.

As a muse the contract is simple: You’ll do all the work and I’ll take all the credit.”

When I love someone I tend to see them in their best light. The problem with leaving under a constant “best light” is that falling short is always around the corner. Sooner or later all gods begin to show their human sides.ย  My kind of love is:

  • I direct, encourage and grow. Sounds like a an agent, I know. I believe it’s my duty to advise people closest to me. If that sounds like a high-priestess of hype forgive me, I am a Libra after all…๐Ÿ™„
  • I protect by making sure no one takes advantage of or abuse the people I love except myself if course๐Ÿ˜œ. My husband calls it “isolation tactics”๐Ÿ˜‚.
  • I multiply by encouraging you to be the best that you can be meaning you won’t have a moment of peace until you go for that promotion…. just like I instructed told you.
  • And last but not least I inspire which means I am your muse for better or worse and as a muse, the contract is simple: you’ll do all the work and I’ll get all the credit. Which maybe why dear husband usually calls himself my “appointed caregiver”.๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ

My husband’s love language

He likes to do things to make my life easier and to make me feel taken care of. That may mean picking me up at the bus station so I don’t have to take the bus when it’s awfully cold. It can be preparing a nice meal or getting me something I might have expressed a desire for. As you can see this man’s love is fully grounded in the practical. Which makes you wonder about my own love language…but like I said I am his muse, right?๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ’…

In the end it’s about loving a person the way they want to be loved and appreciated.

What about you dear readers, do you think love languages are important in relationships? Is it important to understand each other’s love language within a relationship? Please do share. Bisous and talk soon!๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜˜

The best time to say I love you

“Love is like success, it may appear magical and liberating but there is hard core, soul-breaking work hiding right behind it. Most of us are shocked when we discover the true meaning of love. Disney clearly lied to us.๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ก”

Valentine’s Day is that time of year when people with great difficulties expressing feelings find themselves at great peril of being coerced into uttering these three little words: “I love you”.ย Some people say you have to mean it to say it. Some say you have to deeply feel it to say it. Some say you have to wait for one person to say it and only then can you say it.๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ™„

Is there a “best” time to say I love you? Personally, when in a stable relationship, I prefer to say I love you:

  • Early mornings right after waking up or late at night just before going to bed. This way I can not be held responsible if my actions fail to match these three little words later in the day๐Ÿ™„.ย 
  • At the airport, during the last boarding call, this way one of us won’t be here (at least for a couple of days) to live up to these three magic little words. Or better yet by the time we’re together again we can act like nothing happened.๐Ÿ˜

All jokes aside, whenย  it comes to saying “I love you”, there are a few things I’d like to emphasize:ย 

  • First of all, me think there should be deadlines involved. You can’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to express their “feelings”. You could say something like: “if by next Valentine’s day I don’t hear these magic words, don’t call me even if you’reย  bleeding on the floor and 911 is not answering๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ”. Sounds a bit extreme, I know but you get the idea…
  • “I love you” should automatically come with some kind of promise or commitment. If you don’t hear some kind of promise or commitment after these words don’t believe them. I repeat do not believe them. I also suggest you nicely and respectfully threaten I mean discuss “the possibilities of giving each other space to process the next step of the relationship“. And don’t just threaten them any day. Threaten them on special days like Valentine’s and your birthday, the anniversary of your first date together, first movie, first ice cream cone, whatever, you get the point.๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ Do not beg. I know it’s not easy to do especially when that biological clock is hanging heavy down one’s neck…but do try.
  • Now after hearing all this you must be asking say yourself “What about love?”. Well what about it? Let me tell you love is like success, it may appear magical and liberating but there is hard core, soul-breaking work hiding right behind it. Most of us are shocked when we discover the true meaning of love. Disney clearly lied to us. ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ’ƒ

What about you, dear readers? What do you think of the whole thing? When do you think it best to say “I love you”?. Should there be deadlines when it comes to saying “I love you”? Should it come with some type of commitment or promise? Please share your thoughts!

Gros bisoux and don’t forget to enjoy valentine’s day! Talk soon!๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜œ

What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done?

What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done? Were you shocked, impressed or simply disgusted?

“Some things can only be explained by silence or absence. So I chose to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new version that does not quite match his expectations ๐Ÿ™„

We all have things we do that seem “normal” to us but may appear “weird” to someone else. Especially when you’re living in close quarters with that much desired other half. Every Little thing you do gets examined and questioned๐Ÿ™ˆ. It’s almost like living with a two-year old who’s always full of questions๐Ÿ™„.

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I must say even though I may look perfect I too have some “weird thing” in my closet. Hard to believe I know, since I am just so damn perfect most of the times๐Ÿ˜‡.

I actually remember my husband’s exact face the first time he came face to face with that not so stellar version of me. We were having supper as we usually do most nights while watching some kind of TV show. For us super is usually chicken or fish plus aย  salad. That time it was chicken and salad.ย  We’d just finished demolishing most of a whole chicken when, true to my single-years self, I naturally started chewing on the chicken bones (specifically the thigh bones):

Me: (at this point I am not talking but sounds of chicken bones being crushed and chewed can be heard)๐Ÿ™ˆ

Dear other half: (Not talking at this point either. Staring at me intensely probably both shocked and mesmerized that such small and dainty creature is doted with such strong jaws).

Me: (For those of you interested, the whole process can be a very consuming enterprise. At this point, I am literally in the zone…)

Dear other half: (Still staring at me intensely, still a tiny bit shocked but mostly fascinated.)

Me: (Finally realizing I am not alone):” Are you ok honey?”

Dear other half: “…is it a cultural thing??!!?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Dear other half: “Chewing chicken bones into powder form?!….”

Me: “Well, I…”

He was looking at me like someone who’s just been forced to realize his idol was not only human but a human with questionable behaviour ๐Ÿง. I didn’t know what to stay. How do you explain something like that? I couldn’t even explain this to my own damn self even if I wanted to.

Me: “hmmm…yeah…you may be onto something here… Could totally be a cultural thing…”

Dear other half: (still waiting for a logical explanation that’s clearly not coming).

Me: “Well, let me take the plates upstairs so we can have more room here…

Some things can only be explained by either silence or absence so I decided to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new idea of his lovely little wife crushing chicken bones with a vengeance and purpose that would put a horror movie flesh-eating creature to shame. Like he said it could be a cultural thing….who knows?

What about you dear readers? What’s the weirdest thing you or your other half has ever done? Did it change your idea of them? Please do share!

Don’t miss tomorrow’s post on “The best time to say I love you in honor of Valentine’s day! Gros bisoux ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

 

How to feel like a winner fast: Small wins

SMALL WINS

“If you look closely you’ll see life is seldom made of those big, huge victory moments but rather small tiny steps towards improvements.”

Last week I had such a terrible week filled with waiting and anxiety and doubt and complete hopelessness. I felt exhausted and so lost. I hate feeling lost, unsure of the next step, unsure if I can even take another step. I truly believe in times like this everybody should have a list of small wins for when you need to feel accomplished and centered fast, sort of like a quick pick-me-up built-me-up. If you look closely you’ll see that life is seldom made of those big, huge victory moments but rather small tiny steps towards improvements.ย 

I am talking about small wins.ย  I am not talking about running a marathon while you’ve barely left the couch in the past 10 years. The key point here is it has to be something that makes you feel good and accomplished. It should be a list of small but significant actions that can be done quickly. Naturally that list is going to be different for each person.

A FEW THINGS ON MY LIST OF SMALL WINS (don’t judge me, ok?๐Ÿ™„)

  • Looking at my husband and realizing how much I’ve lucked out with this one… Let’s not say that out loud lest he starts feeling too cocky…๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ

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  • Working on a blog post even if it’s just for two minutes makes me feel empowered and I actually tend to be much more efficient when I know I only have 2 minutes. Plus knowing it’s only 2 minutes takes away my excuses not to do it. Quick confession: It also makes me feel very cocky๐Ÿ’ƒ
  • Doing my nails๐Ÿ’…: Now this may not seem like much but considering how many people walking around with nails that would put Shrek to shame, I’d say it’s a pretty big accomplishment๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜

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  • Sporting a full face of makeup early morning (emphasis on EARLY MORNING please!) when most people look like they haven’t left their bed since 2019๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’ƒ. Yes, I like looking like I tried….
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“Feeling smug: Thank you mama for those lips!”
  • Comparing my skin to people who are supposed to be younger than me but yet look at least 10 years older….I am petty I know…๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜

What about you dear readers? What are the smallย  things you do to feel accomplished and centered fast? Do share, please!

Gros bisoux and talk soon๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜˜

When somebody you love does something truly disgusting.

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“The face you make when you’re trying to act like it didn’t happen.”

Last week my niece called me at work in the middle of the afternoon. My heart skipped a bit and my mind automatically went into overdrive: Something terrible must have happened. Did something terrible happened? OMG! Something terrible did happen….(Yeah as you can see I have issues…๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚).

Me: “Are you all right?”

Niece: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “Then why are you calling me in the middle of the day at work?”

She never calls me mid-day weekdays. She either calls me early morning while walking her dog Yuki or late at night. Never in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.”

Niece:” Don’t worry, nobody died! But guess what?”

Me: “What? Spit it out!”

Niece: “Yuki just ate a dead rat.”

Me: “Ewww! Yuki is badass! I am both disgusted and impressed.”

It’s like learning somebody you took for granted cheated. You’re both disgusted and secretly impressed.

Niece: “Don’t say that! I am horrified and traumatized. I’ll never look at her the same ever again”.

(Soft dramatic music playing…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Œ)

Me: “I understand. It’s like overhearing your preteen talk about sex. Something is lost that can never be recovered.”

Niece: “OMG! That’s exactly how I feel!”

Me: ” But where would she find a dead rat though?”

Niece: “We were walking on the beach when we saw the dead rat. Before I knew it she lunges forward, grabs it and run. I tried to stop her but she ran away from me. Can you believe it? The little rascal ran away from me!”

Me: “Makes sense….maybe she didn’t want to share.”

Niece: “Don’t joke with that! I am worried!”

Me: “Sorry. Did you call the vet?”

Niece:” Yeah, she said it’ll pass through her poop or vomit. Plus she has a checkup coming up soon so we’ll see…”

She sounded so disappointed at this point and I am trying hard not to laugh.

Niece: “Can’t believe she did that, I am truly horrified!”

Me: “Very disappointing. After all the money you spent teaching her to be human.”

Niece: “I know…..Well I got to go to work now. Talk to you later?”

Me: “Sure! Let me know how it goes and don’t worry, she’ll be fine!”

Apparently Yuki just got her first taste of crime. Just like most people she did not personally commit the crime, she simply benefited from it ๐Ÿ˜‹. I’ll admit Yuki’s not the only one. After learning she was gonna be all right, I immediately hurried to ask for a pic of the rascal for my next blog๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ™„.

The thing is we all have felt the same in some way when somebody we love and thought we knew displays an offending behavior revealing a side of themselves we either didn’t know existed or refuse to acknowledge. And in that moment we think we’ll never forgive and forget but we do. Love takes over. Not all the time but sometimes it does.

What about you dear reader? When was the last time somebody you love and trust did something truly disgusting. And it doesn’t have to be a pet! Let me know in the comments and Gros bisoux!