Most peeps would say it’s meditation. These are the grown-ups. The same people that retired before 40, do yoga every morning and drink 16 gallons of water a day🐍. Naturally, being a free spirit, it would not be my immediate answer to the question: What is the single fastest way to live more in the present?
My answer: Get a living thing and take good care of it. Now by living thing, I don’t mean a plant that you can casually murder and use as click bait on your dating profile to endear yourself to your future ex. No, I mean a breathing, living thing that can bite and scratch like a dog or a cat. Or a bird or any other small animal depending on the amount of space available.
“Told you she was cute and abusive”
In June, me and my husband got a dog. An extremely demanding little dog named Rhubarbe. Our lives have changed so much since then. For one thing, we’re more relaxed and we laugh more. We also play a lot more. Mostly due to those sharp teeth which she uses freely whenever she wants to play and we’re not displaying enough enthusiasm 😩. With her around, no matter how hard I try I can’t stay mad or sad for long.
She wasn’t ready for my needy ways😂
A loving animal however small can pull you out of your head and Bring you back to the present moment. I think this is the best thing that could have ever happened to us this year considering how tough the whole year has been.
Rhubarb Sitting like the good little dog that she is not😩
What about you guys? If you had to pick a single fastest way to live more in the present, what would it be? Please share below!
“The first night we brought her home, we started grinning at everything she did with wonder and admiration. We grinned through her sleeping and eating like a glutton. Heck, we even grinned when she started farting with great abandon.”
Noticed how blissfully happy we look in this pic? The sort of happiness only seen in people blissfully unaware of what lays ahead.
“When you’re blissfully unaware of what’s to come.”
I remember when hubby announced we’ve finally saved enough to get a dog, he tried to warm me up to the idea that the first weeks may prove to be difficult. I acted with the disdain of a clueless little person who’s out of her league and does not even know it:
Hubby: ” Just so you know, it’s gonna be a tough few weeks, I mean at the beginning…”
Me: ” You can be so negative😫. It’s not like we’re getting a full size Shrek or something🙄…”
Hubby: ” Well…”
Me (Cutting him off): “Listen, I’ve had plenty of dogs! You don’t have to worry about me! Worry about yourself!”😏
Fast forward a week later, we have not slept full nights since this beautiful, happy, angel face of a doggy entered our lives. But not to worry, she herself sleeps plenty as evidenced by the pic below.
Clearly her bills are paid!
”Her favourite way of showing discontentment is by screaming her head off at nights as if suddenly possessed whenever she wakes up to the reality that she’s not, as her dreams would have her believe, in our bed but in hers.”
No bed, no problem! When you can sleep anywhere!
Like many new parents, we made the mistake of letting her sleep in our bed. After one too many sleepless nights, we learned our lesson and are now in the process of trying to get her to sleep in the cute little doggy bed we bought her just for that. As expected, she’s justly outraged. Well, more like pissed.
Without going into great details, just know the past few weeks I’ve cleaned more poop than I’ve ever cleaned in my entire life…
Her toys of predilection are shoes, feet of chairs and anything within chewing distance.
In spite of all this, do we still love her? Yes. Because we decided we don’t mind suffering as long as we get to have someone that cute in our lives. Plus she’s just our type: Cute and expensive!
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We have a new addition to the family and her name is Rhubarbe! This is of course without counting my niece’s dogs (See how cute they are here )
Dear followers, just know you barely escaped a gender reveal. Of course, to make up for that expect the next blog posts to be flooded with pics of Rubarbe #Shamelessnewparents#
Now you may think to yourself, why did they (I meant “Me”) have to go and name the first addition to the family after a comestible plant🙄? Well, just know the poor dog came this close to be named “Cinnamon” (“Cannelle” in French)! Plus dear hubby owed me one. You see, “Cinnamon” was supposed to be the name of our first future daughter but when I dared to “suggest” the name to dear husband, here’s what happened:
Me: “If we ever have a daughter, I have a perfect name”!
Hubby: “Yeah…?”
Me: “Cinnamon”
Hubby: “Over my dead body.”
Me: “Why?!!” (I was sincerely disappointed😔)
Hubby: “I believe it’s one of the top 10 hooker names…🙄😫.”
Me: “Oh!!??…But we can still…”
I was abruptly interrupted.
Hubby: “Like I said…over my dead body.”
I let it go…this time…BUT as a true female of my specie, I was waiting for him around the corner where he least expected it so as soon as it became sure we were gonna be parents to a dog I came back full force and I said: “Well, since you don’t want me to call our future daughter “Cinnamon”, I get to name the dog!”. The poor man was trapped so he agreed (more like gave up). It was between “Cinnamon” and “Rhubarbe” but since apparently, according to dear husband, it was the year of the “R” (names starting with “R”) for dogs, “we” (I”” 😉) named her “Rhubarbe”
#When you”re cute and you know it😎😏
“When you’re cute and you know it!😎”
Isn’t she cute? My work is still not done because they’re already ganging up on me. I guess it’s a father-daughter thing, eh?😜
Of course most of my time is spent trying to figure out ways to get her to love me more😂
“When my mom who’s pure Haitian noticed I was wearing nothing but black and white in most of my pics, she inquired (with great worry) if somebody has just died.”🤦🏽♀️🤣
Most times when I am getting ready in the morning, I’ll usually have this kind of convo with dear husband:
Husband: “You should wear more colour’. Colour suits you so well”
Me: (silently pulling out my all black outfit with hints of grey as accent colour. All of this with a smirk on my face.)
Husband: “Hello..Did you hear what I just said?!”
I took some time to answer since I was trying to put that in plain language so he can understand😏😎. When you’re forced to explain elevation to the masses.🙄
Me:”I know what I am doing. You see, black and white automatically looks more polished, more put together, more…expensive…”
Husband: (shakes head heavily, face heavy with sadness): 😫😌
Me: “I don’t expect you to understand, of course….”
Husband: “Right…it’s best to look like a debt collector…but then again what do I know? I am only just a man after all…”
Me: “See…you’re getting there!”
“A pic of me practising colour therapy and looking absolutely stunning doing it”😎😏
If I am honest though, he’s not the only one to tell me that. I remember one time talking to my mom and she said the exact same thing but in an extremely concerned tone:
Mom (🤔😰🥺): “Faye (that’s my nickname), are you all right? Is there something going on?
Me (😲😲) : ” I am fine, mom. Where does this come from??!”
Mom: “Well, most pics I see of you, you’re only wearing black and white like somebody just died. What’s wrong?”
Me: “What?!!?” 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♂️
Naturally, I tried explaining to her that black and white looks more expensive. I could hear her exasperation over the phone as she replied: “
Mom: “Would you please stop attracting bad things to you by wearing nothing but black and white and all those pale colours that make you look like you died just a few hours ago”.
Me: “But mom…”
Mom: “Enough of this! Makes you look like you’re about to cross over into the unknown!”
Parents just don’t understand, eh?🤦🏽♀️ I laughed my head off.
In Haiti, people mostly wear black when somebody dies. In times of mourning, it’s not unusual for people to wear black and nothing but black for a certain period of time as a way to cherish someone close who’s died.
You know, thinking back, there was real concern in her voice, like she was really worried and it cracks me up. I spent that day thinking about how certain colours can be perceived in certain cultures and I find that very interesting.
That’s probably why, last year, I made a conscious effort to add more colours to my wardrobe and let me tell you, I am already a changed woman, if I do say so myself😎😋.
What about you guys? Have you been dragged like myself into wearing more colour or did you just wake up one day and decided to add more colour to your wardrobe? Let me know in the comments below.
Bisoux and don’t forget to like, share and subscribe so you can know what I am up to (#shamelessplug🙄)😘🐍
”Post-quarantine, I am the heaviest I’ve ever been yet the happiest. Still, happiness is not an excuse to double in size unless of course you’re training to be a sumo wrestler…which I am not.”
Monday, July 13th:
Post-quarantine weight: Undisclosed due to a massive amount of ego😎
Progress report as of as of July 13th: So far I’m down 5. 94 lbs (I am strongly tempted to round the .94 to 1 lbs 😋)
First stepping on the scale since quarantine: Monday, June 29th.
On this diet you can eat as much as you want and being a natural-born glutton I find that comforting. There’s just one caveat…it’s strictly protein and veggies. To my knowledge most people are not inclined to overeat when carb and sugar are not the main ingredients. So skinnytown here I come!”
To be fair this post should be titled losing the pre and post-quarantine weight. As much as I would love to blame quarantine for my surprising (although I know exactly how it happened😉) weight gain, I still somehow feel the need to accept some responsibility for this weight gain🙄.
Today marks three weeks since I’ve been on the Dukan diet. The last time I was on this diet I had about 10 pounds to lose which I lost very easily. Maybe because I wasn’t as fat as I thought…🙄. If you were skinny and you didn’t know it raise your hands🙆🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️.
Well, this time unlike last time, I am really overweight (About 20 pds overweight😶)
What is the Dukan diet?
It’s a high quality protein/low carb diet structured in 4 phases: Attack, Cruise, consolidation and stabilization. You can find more by following this link: (https://www.dukandiet.com/low-carb-diet/4-phases).
What I like about this diet:
You can eat as much as you want as long as long as you stick with the list of food below which is pretty extensive if you ask me.
2. Since you’re eating strictly lean protein and veggies for a while, it acts as a natural appetite suppressant. Most people are not highly motivated to overeat where carb and sugar are not the main ingredient.
3. You can go the the Dukan website and have an outline made for you using the 4 phases of the diet depending on your current weight, goal weight as well as your true weight. The plan tells you how long each phase will last based on your ”predicament😉”
4. Have you ever had recipe books with ingredients so exotic, you’d need to travel around the world just to get them🙄? Well, not with their recipe book. But then again I could be wrong since dear husband cooks most of our meals. I am only the assistant chef after all. It may take a little time to get around but the ingredients used are easy enough to find and most importantly they are ”swappable”.
5. In the book, there are plenty of dessert recipes to chose from which is always a plus. As an example you have a cheese cake recipe that is not bad at all (food pic number 1).
And just in case you’re tempted to feel sorry for me, here’s a few pics of what I’ve been eating so far😁
Number 1 and 2 are from the Dukan recipe book. The fries are rutabaga fries and they were so good! I think I may turn this into a serie complete with food journal where I’ll report weight and observations while on this diet. What do you think? Let me know!
In this week’s episode of things I’ve done to avoid dealing with real life problems…
“The following could easily be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?”
First, let’s weed out the “tackle it now” crowd with a couple of meaningful questions😉.
Has your shit hit the fan and people are dropping like dead flies but somehow you still can’t smell it?
Do you routinely give advice you don’t even know how to apply in your own damn life?
Do you look like you always have your shit together even when you’re basically walking around in a deep state of coma?
If so I have a list of small changes that you’re gonna love. These are things I’ve personally done instead of tackling real life problems. Thank me later.😼🐍
Shaving my head hoping it’ll uncloud my judgement🙄. The minute all my hair’s gone I morph into a puddle of regret, despair and bad decisions.
Make a five-year plan for my husband hoping he’ll make it big and I, yours truly, can finally shop all day. Conniving and delusional…an unbeatable combination, if you ask me 🐍😏
Call my niece and give her “life advice” I myself never practice. Luckily for me she’s a very polite young lady: She just answer the call two weeks later.
Go shopping with money I don’t have hoping a new look will give me a new outlook on life. It’s all about “investing in yourself”…you know…new look, new attitude…😔
Paint my nails a bright colour hoping it’ll bring clarity and direction into my life.
Revisit a 5-year plan and pretend it’s a brand new one. Well, technically yes, since I don’t remember doing any of it.😝
Call a long time bestie and speculate on the meaning of life without ever mentioning any action plan. We usually finish by rounding up the usual suspects: our parents.
Of course, all of this could be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?
Now that you know all my secrets, I hope you won’t mind sharing yours😛. Go on and share! I won’t tell!
In my blogging journey, I’ve had days when I was so excited to write a blog post my hands could barely keep up with my thoughts. I’ve also had days when I’d gladly chose to be a loser for the rest of my life than sitting down at my computer and write a simple blog post. So I thought I’d give you a glimpse into my “thought process” or the lack of it when inspiration and motivation have left the building without as much as a fair warning.
In this week’s episode of things I’ve done still doing to avoid writing on this blog😏🙄
Call a long time bestie to discuss the latest skin care hacks and compare notes. Believe it or not beautiful, shiny skin can and will make you look more successful than you actually are…thank me later😎
Review my vision board and double-check if having a blog really fit into my plan for my life🧐
Nag my husband about something that happened way before we even met and hold him personally responsible. Unbelievable, I know…Dear husband has recently stopped falling for that one. Now he patiently wait until I finish rambling, opens my computer, pulls out a chair and instructs me to start writing ASAP.🤦🏾♂️🤷🏾♀️
Paint my nails a bright colour to get in a “writing mood” except nail painting is usually closely followed by full-face makeup plus a couple of YouTube videos on how to “sort out your life”. At this point I am officially down the rabbit hole and there is no turning back…ever.😵🤪
Wake up at 5:00 o’clock specifically to write but first start by watching a movie to relax. Promptly fall asleep and wake up just in time for work.😴🤤
Make myself a coffee. Once coffee’s ready, realize I really want a latte. Makes latter and go watch 30 minutes of something…anything…
Go through contact list and see who I haven’t called in a while and promise myself I’d start writing as soon as I give them a call. By the time I am done, it’s night time.
Briefly check the same Instagram account to see if anything has changed since the last time I checked which is probably half a second ago.
Write a list of things to do that should have been done 10 years ago.
And the list goes on….
Of course while I am doing all this dear husband is patiently observing and trying to gauge when I might exactly…finally…start writing that long-awaited blog post until of course he loses patience and instructs me to start writing now.
As you can see no stone is left unturned in the war against productivity.
Now that you know all my top tips for the most unproductive day, I hope you won’t mind sharing some of the stuff you do to avoid doing things that you know you have to do. Please do share! Bisoux😘🐍
“Don’t treat people how you yourself would like to be treated, treat people how they themselves want to be treated. There is a big difference…”
What is love? Love means different things for different people for sure. We all have different ways of showing and receiving love. I suppose it all boils down to love language. To me love is action. I can see it’s the same for my husband as well except we take different actions to show we care. I have noticed people have a tendency to express love the same way they would like it expressed towards them.
“I’d say my love language is pretty simple…I inspire meaning I am your muse.
As a muse the contract is simple: You’ll do all the work and I’ll take all the credit.”
When I love someone I tend to see them in their best light. The problem with leaving under a constant “best light” is that falling short is always around the corner. Sooner or later all gods begin to show their human sides. My kind of love is:
I direct, encourage and grow. Sounds like a an agent, I know. I believe it’s my duty to advise people closest to me. If that sounds like a high-priestess of hype forgive me, I am a Libra after all…🙄
I protect by making sure no one takes advantage of or abuse the people I love except myself if course😜. My husband calls it “isolation tactics”😂.
I multiply by encouraging you to be the best that you can be meaning you won’t have a moment of peace until you go for that promotion…. just like I instructed told you.
And last but not least I inspire which means I am your muse for better or worse and as a muse, the contract is simple: you’ll do all the work and I’ll get all the credit. Which maybe why dear husband usually calls himself my “appointed caregiver”.💅🐍
My husband’s love language
He likes to do things to make my life easier and to make me feel taken care of. That may mean picking me up at the bus station so I don’t have to take the bus when it’s awfully cold. It can be preparing a nice meal or getting me something I might have expressed a desire for. As you can see this man’s love is fully grounded in the practical. Which makes you wonder about my own love language…but like I said I am his muse, right?😜💅
In the end it’s about loving a person the way they want to be loved and appreciated.
What about you dear readers, do you think love languages are important in relationships? Is it important to understand each other’s love language within a relationship? Please do share. Bisous and talk soon!🐍😘
“Love is like success, it may appear magical and liberating but there is hard core, soul-breaking work hiding right behind it. Most of us are shocked when we discover the true meaning of love. Disney clearly lied to us.🙄😡”
Valentine’s Day is that time of year when people with great difficulties expressing feelings find themselves at great peril of being coerced into uttering these three little words: “I love you”. Some people say you have to mean it to say it. Some say you have to deeply feel it to say it. Some say you have to wait for one person to say it and only then can you say it.🤔🙄
Is there a “best” time to say I love you? Personally, when in a stable relationship, I prefer to say I love you:
Early mornings right after waking up or late at night just before going to bed. This way I can not be held responsible if my actions fail to match these three little words later in the day🙄.
At the airport, during the last boarding call, this way one of us won’t be here (at least for a couple of days) to live up to these three magic little words. Or better yet by the time we’re together again we can act like nothing happened.😏
All jokes aside, when it comes to saying “I love you”, there are a few things I’d like to emphasize:
First of all, me think there should be deadlines involved. You can’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to express their “feelings”. You could say something like: “if by next Valentine’s day I don’t hear these magic words, don’t call me even if you’re bleeding on the floor and 911 is not answering😜🐍”. Sounds a bit extreme, I know but you get the idea…
“I love you” should automatically come with some kind of promise or commitment. If you don’t hear some kind of promise or commitment after these words don’t believe them. I repeat do not believe them. I also suggest you nicely and respectfully threaten I mean discuss “the possibilities of giving each other space to process the next step of the relationship“. And don’t just threaten them any day. Threaten them on special days like Valentine’s and your birthday, the anniversary of your first date together, first movie, first ice cream cone, whatever, you get the point.😜🐍 Do not beg. I know it’s not easy to do especially when that biological clock is hanging heavy down one’s neck…but do try.
Now after hearing all this you must be asking say yourself “What about love?”. Well what about it? Let me tell you love is like success, it may appear magical and liberating but there is hard core, soul-breaking work hiding right behind it. Most of us are shocked when we discover the true meaning of love. Disney clearly lied to us. 😡💃
What about you, dear readers? What do you think of the whole thing? When do you think it best to say “I love you”?. Should there be deadlines when it comes to saying “I love you”? Should it come with some type of commitment or promise? Please share your thoughts!
Gros bisoux and don’t forget to enjoy valentine’s day! Talk soon!🐍😜
What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done? Were you shocked, impressed or simply disgusted?
“Some things can only be explained by silence or absence. So I chose to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new version that does not quite match his expectations 🙄
We all have things we do that seem “normal” to us but may appear “weird” to someone else. Especially when you’re living in close quarters with that much desired other half. Every Little thing you do gets examined and questioned🙈. It’s almost like living with a two-year old who’s always full of questions🙄.
I must say even though I may look perfect I too have some “weird thing” in my closet. Hard to believe I know, since I am just so damn perfect most of the times😇.
I actually remember my husband’s exact face the first time he came face to face with that not so stellar version of me. We were having supper as we usually do most nights while watching some kind of TV show. For us super is usually chicken or fish plus a salad. That time it was chicken and salad. We’d just finished demolishing most of a whole chicken when, true to my single-years self, I naturally started chewing on the chicken bones (specifically the thigh bones):
Me: (at this point I am not talking but sounds of chicken bones being crushed and chewed can be heard)🙈
Dear other half: (Not talking at this point either. Staring at me intensely probably both shocked and mesmerized that such small and dainty creature is doted with such strong jaws).
Me: (For those of you interested, the whole process can be a very consuming enterprise. At this point, I am literally in the zone…)
Dear other half: (Stillstaring at me intensely, still a tiny bit shocked but mostly fascinated.)
Me: (Finally realizing I am not alone):” Are you ok honey?”
Dear other half: “…is it a cultural thing??!!?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Dear other half: “Chewing chicken bones into powder form?!….”
Me: “Well, I…”
He was looking at me like someone who’s just been forced to realize his idol was not only human but a human with questionable behaviour 🧐. I didn’t know what to stay. How do you explain something like that? I couldn’t even explain this to my own damn self even if I wanted to.
Me: “hmmm…yeah…you may be onto something here… Could totally be a cultural thing…”
Dear other half: (still waiting for a logical explanation that’s clearly not coming).
Me: “Well, let me take the plates upstairs so we can have more room here…“
Some things can only be explained by either silence or absence so I decided to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new idea of his lovely little wife crushing chicken bones with a vengeance and purpose that would put a horror movie flesh-eating creature to shame. Like he said it could be a cultural thing….who knows?
What about you dear readers? What’s the weirdest thing you or your other half has ever done? Did it change your idea of them? Please do share!
Don’t miss tomorrow’s post on “The best time to say I love you“ in honor of Valentine’s day! Gros bisoux 😘🐍
The F Files 