The challenges of being an introvert.

“Contrary to most people I don’t go out to meet people, I go out to be alone. My husband thinks it’s troubling. I think it’s a sign of great intelligence🙄.”

Me and dear husband we get along quite well but the longer we’ve been together, the more I realize how different we are on a lot of things. At first look I’d say I am an introvert and my husband is an extrovert. He likes being around people and I am more into pointed interactions (My husband says it’s a nice way of saying “I am antisocial”). Consequently finding a common ground can be quite challenging and makes for very interesting interactions…

Exhibit A: Me getting ready to go out on a Saturday morning.

Dear husband: “You’re going out to meet a friend? Cool!”

Me: “No, not really.”

DH: “Why not? Call a friend or something…”

Me:  “Why? I just want to be alone”.

DH: “Why go out then? Just lock yourself up in the basement and you’ll be all alone”.

Me: “No, I won’t. Because you’ll come knocking and bug me.”

DH: ” I am not sure how I should take this….”

Me: “Plus, unlike you I don’t need people to enjoy myself!”

DH: “Yeah..and that’s the scary part.”

Feeling like an alien, I then proceed to try and justify my behavior.

Me: “Well, I guess it’s a way of being social without having to interact with people…”

DH: “Not sure if you realize it but being social sort of implies having actual interactions with people.”

Exhibit B: Dear husband comes home all excited because he and some friends have planned some kind of couple outing.

Dear husband: “We’ve been invited!”

Me: “But why? Who did that?”

DH: “You’re saying it like somebody committed a crime or something?”

The last time we had that same discussion, he won so I remained silent.

DH: “Ok, you’re clearly not excited about the prospect. How about we invite them here?”

I don’t answer. I look as overwhelmed as a new mom who’s just given birth to quadruplets.

Me: “It’s gonna be worse! We’re gonna have to be nice and let them stay for however long they want…”

DH: “Well, you could try throwing them out…”

Me: “That would be one way of making sure they don’t come back….”

DH: “!!!??????” Clear signs of system failure showing on his face…🤯

I am not gonna lie, being an introvert comes with its own sets of blessings and challenges. I sometimes think I’ll end up as an old insufferable cat lady who spends her time mumbling to herself😂. What about you dear readers? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? What do you find most challenging? Please share! Gros bisoux and talk soon!🐍😋

Accept the damn compliments and keep it moving!

“I am one of those people who can’t just accept a compliment and move on. I need to be creative by burying the other person under a pile of outrageous attributes that even a loving grandmother would have troubling believing”…

Yours truly, resident cheerleader of the year

Do you struggle to accept compliments? There could be several reasons. Maybe you have difficulties believing nice things about yourself? Maybe you have resident cheerleader syndrome, meaning you believe your job is to empower people with you of course being the enlightened one?

Here is an excerpt of a typical conversation between me and a female acquaintance:

Scenario 1:

A female colleague is wearing a nice skirt and I, resident cheerleader of the year rush in to sing her praise. As a true Libra I am proud to say we’ve raised cheerleading to an art form. Of course some less enlightened souls would call it relentless ass kissing (namely dear husband who firmly believes one should tell people the truth even if it means social suicide).

Me: “Oh my God! You look absolutely stunning in that skirt”.

Colleague:  “You think so?”

Me: “Yes!”

Coll.: “Not so sure…”

Me: “Of course! I mean look at you!”

Coll.: “Oh, I don’t know. It’s such an old thing…”

Me: “Listen, you look good okay?” I said realizing this could probably last the whole day and I still needed to earn a living. At this point my desire to wrap things up is really strong so I discreetly start looking for the nearest exit. But just then, she turns the whole thing upside down and gives ME a compliment.

Colleague: “Well, what about you, Missy?”

Me: “Yes, what about me?”

Coll.: “Well look at you, you’d look good in that skirt, unlike me!”

Me: “Ooooooh!!! You think so?”

Coll.: “Absolutely! With your perfect butt and all!”

Me: “Oh stop! I’d much prefer to have nice curvy hips like yours?”

Coll.: “Oh no! Why? Trust me you don’t need that in your life.”

Me: “Well, let me tell you when I gain weight I feel like my butt could serve as my personal calling card.”

Coll.: “Oh no! you have the perfect butt!”

Me: “Stop! You’re the prize, not me!”

Coll.: “Noooooo, you are the real deal!”

Me: “Nooooooo! You missy are the business!”

………..

 Well, in case you’re wondering we did manage to get some work done that day…

There’s also Scenario 2 where some people just gobble down the compliment like it’s part of your job description🙄.

All this aside, a lot of us do that. Why do we do that, though? We can’t just accept a compliment and move on. Sometimes you stop to give someone a quick compliment and end up spending the rest of the day trying to convince them you’re not crazy or blind.

What to say then? You could say: “Thank you, you’re so kind!” or “Thank you for noticing!”.

Notice how I am always trying to add something else after the “thank you”🤦🙋. I am afraid it’s time to put this on my list of things to get therapy for……

What about you dear readers? Do you or someone you know do that as well? I want to hear about it!

Gros bisoux and talk soon!

We all have that one item of clothing

Winter is firmly here. It’s been getting so cold so fast here in Montreal I’ve officially abandoned all dignity and desire to look human in the quest for warmth. I now will wear anything provided it’ll keep me warm, I don’t care if I look like a pregnant mouse. Which brings me to that very potent truth: We all have that one piece of clothing which makes us look like crap that we just can’t seem to be able to get rid of. Mine is a green coat. It is so padded, it could serve as an anti-nuclear shelter.

“When I wear that coat in wintertime it’s not unusual for people to offer me their seats in the subway probably thinking of me as a pregnant lady in great need of a seat.”

Every year, at the end of every Winter I swear I am going to donate it to charity. Yet every year, at the beginning of every Winter I gently pull it out of the back of the closet covered in shame and embarrassment. It has now become an inside joke between me and dear husband.

Dear husband: “I see the mattress is back…”

Me: ” Well, it’s just for today….it’s so cold so soon…besides the name has changed.”

Dear husband: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, really….this entire look is now called the expensive dumpling look.”

Dear husband: “Wait! I have a better name for it!”

He’s so excited to come up with a fun name he doesn’t notice that if looks could kill, he’d be lying on the floor swimming in his own blood already…

Dear husband: “Wait for it: The walking mattress!”

Only the thought of going back to a dating site with the extra weight I’ve gained in the past two years kept me from murdering him…I remained silent for a good while hoping he’ll noticed he’s not exactly winning points here even if I was the one who started the name calling. Finally some sense seemed to have got into him.

Me: ” C’mon don’t be mad! You’re the one who started this??!!!”

Me: “Just because I started it doesn’t mean you have to finish it (Insert overly emotional person on their period emoji here, I’ll wait). Besides, as I told you countless times, this should serve as a signal for you to start showering me with compliments! “

Dear husband: “!!????” Clear signs of system failure showing on his face…

The poor man can’t win, I know. One thing though, there are three people I would not want to meet while wearing this very special piece of clothing: My ex, my ex’s girlfriend and my worst enemy. Why? Because I believe in winning, God damn it! Which is why I usually keep the hood down when I wear it to prevent face recognition.

Lately I’ve been pushed into a more sporty chic vibe in an effort to steer clear of the dumpling look and migrate more towards the healthy spring roll look. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don’t. When my hormones are properly fed I somehow manage to look like a healthy veggie spring roll. But when it’s that time of the month and my hormones are raging I definitely look like a dumpling. I must admit I was never one to sacrifice comfort for pretty. Although my husband would swear the contrary.

What about you dear readers? What is that one item of clothing you hate but somehow keep wearing? Please do share!

ON BUYING EXPENSIVE THINGS

“People are quick to mention what money can’t buy but what they fail to realize is poverty buys you nothing. Nyet, nada, zilt.”

It’s a known fact that people who can’t afford things are usually the first ones to get them simply to prove they can. I myself occasionally buy things that are so above budget I am afraid to used them! Like that time I bought that expensive cream and spent my time admiring it and basking in my so-called good taste without ever using it😎.

As a personal rule from my delusional consumer book, before buying anything expensive I usually go through a whole range of emotion that would qualify me as a first rate patient for the finest psychiatric ward. First the flagellation stage, I remind myself that I belong to that exclusive group of people who have no business buying expensive stuff because:

a) They ( 🙋🏿‍♀️) just swore to their husband this was the last time they’re spending hard-earned cash on the latest wrinkle-fighting (Insert Fraxel laser sprinkled with goat testicle powder type of facial nonsense🙄) and the poor guy believed me😔…

b) they’re supposed to be on an accelerated saving plan that have yet to materialize🤦🏿‍♀️because there is always something better to do with money like”hair botox”. To me ”Broke with good hair” sounds like a good investment for the future😜

These people (and yours truly is at the top of that list) should realize they’re poor and just stick to drinking their 8 cups of unpurified water instead of spending money they don’t have on the latest  facial and skin care gadget.

Next in my buying process I also do a bit of introspection, read a few philosophical quotes on happiness and money, call a couple of equally delusional friend to help me to further justify the purchase and then I go ahead and buy whatever it is anyway only to realize a few weeks later that my life have not properly changed.

Naturally dear husband is never involved in this buying process. He usually finds out during a major barely-used item clean-out and I make sure to look as surprised as he does….

Dear husband: “What is this? When did you get this?”

Me: (Looking shocked and hurt) “I don’t know! Why are you always asking me about new stuff?”

Dear husband: “Well, you’re the one hunting for stuff like a groundhog about to hibernate so yeah I am asking you!”

Me: “Well, honey, sometimes I hear voices in the house, stuff fall on the floor so there could be a third person living in the house for all we know.”

Dear husband: (...??!! With face showing clear signs of system failure…)

At this point he usually leaves the room so as not to compromise his reputation as a patient man and since I am an equally smart woman I usually avoid him for the next 12 hours. The thing is he’s not completely above any criticism himself because he has his own demons (You can read all about it Here ).

Look, I would love to count myself as the enlightened one who have discovered a way to live her best life without spending a dime but I am not at that stage yet and I doubt I’ll ever be or even want to be.

I now focus instead on investing where it will make a true difference. For example, instead of buying make up every time I see a pimple, I invest in facials, good skin care and quality food while monitoring my stress level. While spending money I try to also focus on the quality of things instead of quantity and that helps a bit.

What about you, dear readers, what do you spend the most money on? How do you make your purchases count? Please do share🙃

 

Happy birthday to me: Turning a year older!

“If you ask me, there’s absolutely no need to be older than 40!”

Notice I did not give a specific age like I did HERE? I could have stated my age but, oh well, getting old does that to you. Those who don’t understand are either too young and  therefore secretly think they’re gonna stay young forever (like any self-respecting young person should) or way too old to care and therefore stopped counting.

“We’ll all have regrets at some point in our lives but some regrets weigh more than others. The key is to pick the regrets you’d rather have when the time comes.”

If you ask me, there’s absolutely no need to be older than 40, so I decided to stop counting. In all honesty I do look at least 10 years younger (Yes, I am delusional but it makes me happy). My husband also thinks I am delusional but the man is way too smart to come out and say it to my face so he completely avoids the subject even when I insist on knowing what he thinks, hence this conversation:

Me: “Honey, look at me! I feel like I haven’t aged at all. Don’t you think?

Hubby:” ______” (no sound…at all)

Me: “Honey?”

Hubby: “______” (not even a word…stops breathing…behaves like trapped animal)

Me: “Honey??!!

When I tell you this man is truly my soul mate. If he can’t tell me what I want to hear he has the courage to shut it. Of course I wished he would do that all the time but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

I no longer look at “old” people like I’ll never get there one day because I am now fairly certain we all get old (about time!!???). What saddens me the most is that one day I’ll be that old woman sitting in a corner and cheering on a young woman, with a forced genuine smile and pretending I’ve lived my life 🙂

All in all, I’ve realized we’ll have regrets at some point in our lives but some regrets weigh more than others. So I have decided to make a list of the things I’d regret the most if I didn’t do them and start working on that list with all of my strength.

That’s all I wanted to share today. Talk soon! Gros bisoux!

 

 

Sticking to a healthy diet: The challenges

Currently reading the compound effect by Darren Hardy. In this book, it says a positive environment carries a powerful impact in ensuring the successful implantation of good habits. The right environment can be the difference between success and failure.

So many times we set goals but we forget to take into consideration those stumbling blocks be it people or situations that can derail us…”

In other words, when you’re trying to implement a new behavior, you must put your environment to work for you. I thought about that and realized this is something I don’t always take into account when making grand plans. For example, dear husband and myself are trying to keep a healthy diet by eating good nourishing food most of the time. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don’t. But I have noticed that some environment (like watching TV late at night) may not be helping. Every single time we went off track, it was while watching TV late at night, especially Friday evenings, etc.).  There’s also something to be said for bad company but since I obviously can’t get rid of dear husband (not sure I want to go back to the dating scene again…) I feel pressed to figure out other ways to stay on track. So, below are a couple of steps I am thinking on implementing. It would take some practice but I believe they could help steer the boat in the right direction.

“When dieting, the very idea of cheat days is problematic. It’s like cheating to keep your marriage interesting…. Not the best strategy. “

The first thing would be to eliminate TV time during weekdays. In a fit of transparency, I feel obligated to mention that most of the times, I am only awake for 30 minutes max🙄, favorite TV shows or not… so, I can’t logically cut out TV time when I am sleeping through it😴🤤. Dear husband is a patient man but there are limits. Consequently, I must find a solution that won’t make me look bad. As a Libra, I am all about finding solutions that make me look good, even if they’re bad😜.

The second thing would be to plan ahead which means plan our weekly menu ahead of time and making sure the fridge is stuffed with healthy options. Also, it would be a good thing to plan our treat days days ahead and find delicious alternative to add to our cheat day menu! I know some people are against cheat days and with good reason. Some people can cheat and keep it classy but some go hog wild🤣

When dieting, the very idea of cheat days is problematic. It’s like cheating to keep your marriage interesting…. Not the best strategy. No good can come out of it and it always backfires.

So in that spirit, we decided that on Fridays, instead of ordering out we’d get back to making our own treats which are way more delicious and cost way less. Of course, that won’t stop us from overeating but at least we take pride in our willingness to experiment and see what work😏. 

If I am being honest, number two is a lot more realistic for us right now so we’ll try and stick to it as best we can and give it time.

What about you, dear readers? Do you have any strategies for implementing new habits or sticking to good one? Please do share!

The right size or the right fit: A surprise workout in a dressing room.

”The right size or the right fit?”

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my nutritionist about the benefits of fast walking for lowering stress and she insisted one of the best low impact exercise for lowering stress is a long leisurely stroll where you actually have the time to enjoy the scenery. I politely nod to demonstrate agreement while privately disagreeing. If you’ve read this Post, you know I am more of a break-a-hip type of exercise person than a breathing-practice one. Nevertheless, I decided to give the leisurely stroll a try. Plus, where I work there are plenty of clothing stores to browse from. Personally, I think there is nothing sadder than looking at things you can not afford. But then again if you’re gonna be broke for a while you might as well make peace with it and make it look like you’re one of those very, very difficult people on a mission to find that perfect “coup de coeur” (read extremely broke). And if the sales clerk tries to pester you, you tell them: «Well, I am looking for something very particular. Once I’ve found it, I’ll be sure to let you know». Naturally, saying the whole thing with a Brittish accent would certainly give you more credibility.

”You’d need to be a clothes hanger or a broom stick to fit into this size. Having pliable bones may also greatly help.”

During said leisurely stroll, my steps somehow led me to Aritzia. Naturally, I started browsing their pants section and became super excited when my eyes fell onto the most perfect pair of high-waisted pants in a slightly stretchy material. I’ve been dreaming about a pair like this for ages. So I decided today was my lucky day. Thinking I was probably a size 6, I grabbed a few colours and headed for the changing rooms. There was already a lovely sales person on location manning the dressing room with the appropriate frozen smile platered across her face. Who can blame her? Dealing all day with people who refuse to face their size all day long can be taxing.

”Sizes are not really important because our bodies change. Pursue the right fit not the right size”.

Little did I know I would get a break-a-hip type of workout in the dressing room in the form of trying to wrestle my frame into a size that claimed to be a 6. I couldn’t even get it up to my waist. For this to fit me I’d need to either be a hanger or a broom stick..or maybe have pliable bones..! There is just no other way. How can that happen? Last week at old Navy, I was a solid size 6 with end of day bloat and all!  I was crushed. After a couple of painful thoughts, I decided to ask for a size 8 thinking to myself: ”It’ll probably be too large but…”. The relief expected was not to come since surprise while I could pull it all the way up I couldn’t zip it up. And believe me, I tried. I had to take a couple of minutes to give myself time to digest that newsflash: The 8 did not fit either.

”To me, if there’s room on the fllor for double zeros, there should be room for sizes 8 and up….But then again, I suppose a size 10 would take up so much room, the whole thing would fail to look like a minimalist closet (Insert eye rolls).”

I debated if I should just get out of there comforted in the idea it was their fault, not mine. Their size 6 was clearly a double zero in denial. But then again the fighter in me (or the glutton for punishment) decided to stay and ask to try on a 10. To which I was answered by the sales clerk: ”I’ll check but you might have to order it online. Is that all right?” Naturally I nodded in approval. What else was I going to say? Your size 6 is a lie and fetch me the manager while you’re at it? Certainly not! Upon trying it, the size 10 was way too big and made me look like a sack of mashed potatoes. 

So all in all, I went into the changing room full of hope and came out in great despair. My world of medium sizes had been shattered. While thinking about the whole ordeal, I couldn’t help but notice that only what was considered small sizes were displayed on the floor. To me, if there’s room for double zeros, there should be room for sizes 8 and up.  Where is the logic in there? But then again, I suppose a size 10 would take up so much room, the whole thing would fail to look like a minimalist closet? Go figure!

Lessons learned: ”Sizes are not really important because our bodies change. Pursue the right fit not the right size”.

These pants were such workouts that I am now considering buying them as replacement for my workout dvds. You see, it wasn’t a complete disaster after all….

What about you dear readers? Have you had similar experiences? Please do share! Bisous!