Quarantine: The weight gain is real!

“If this quarantine doesn’t end soon, I may need a second quarantine to sort out my weight.”

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To all the people who knew me pre-quarantine, don’t be surprised if you fail to recognize me post-quarantine.🤦‍♀️

Last week, knowing I was probably gonna be working mostly from home, I made a very serious eating plan for quarantine life. The kind of plan you make when you have no intention of sticking to any plan: Drastic and vague (No point writing a book about it since we’re not gonna do it, right?).  

Like I said: Drastic like “I vow to stay away from all carb from now on and eat extremely healthy however long this quarantine may last”🙄. Of course no precision was given on what I was going to eat to achieve this lofty goal of mine. Why? Because a clear list of food would have made me realized the real cost of my outsized ambition so instead I decided to feed my delusions. 

In fact, right after I made that wonderful plan I came home to this: 

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Turns out dear husband went grocery shopping and brought home three packs of bagels (shown in the pic above) plus a boatload of croissants (not pictured here since we ate it so fast that by the time this article was written, there was none left!).

“It’s clear dear husband did not get the memo of us munching on celery sticks while sipping lemon water. He’s on a different program. The carb overdose program.”

Imagine starting your quarantine with a boatload of croissants and bagels? It literally felt like a set-up. The croissants only lasted three days. The logic being the sooner we ate it all the sooner we’ll get to go back to our diet. I am not proud of us people, I am definitely not proud of us. To tell you the truth, I feel like I am in the backseat of a speeding car with a dead driver at the wheel.

If this quarantine doesn’t end soon, how am I going to explain all the weight gain? Well, if it’s any consolation most people are going to gain weight. I suppose I could become the only person who refuse to leave quarantine due to weight gain.

As proof, an excerpt of a recent convo with dear husband:

Me: “Oh my God! Look at that pic I just took of myself. I feel like I doubled in size!”

Dear husband: “Yeah…you definitely gained…”

At this point, my eyes are like daggers pointed directly at him. Only a person with foot in mouth syndrome like dear husband would ignore the silent warnings…

Me: “My belly is determined to go North while my butt insist on going South.”

Dear husband: “Yeah, you’re sticking out in all directions..”

The double-headed snake!🐍🐍🐍

The nerve of that man! He’s the one who went grocery shopping for “healthy stuff” and came back with a boatload of croissants and 3 packs of bagels. The thing is though, he’s close to 6 ft tall and I am only 5’2 so the risk of me looking like a can of tuna is getting very real. But then again with this quarantine stuff, the low mood and lack of motivation is real…

Bisoux and keep your social distancing!

 

 

Covid-19: The difficulty of remaining civilized…

Whether you’re a Zen master or a messy ball of stress,  the current Covid-19 climate does get to you little by little…

Me and my husband went to Costco a few weeks ago and were shocked to see people behaving with a complete absence of logic and humanity, grabbing everything they can get their hands on. We looked at them like a Zen master would a worrying wart: with love and a heavy dose of pity; just like someone who’s found the light would look at a person still scraping in the dark. We are different I thought to myself. We are civil. Or so I thought…

“It’s very difficult to remain civilized when competing for the last loaf of bread with people who think they’re out on a supply run in a walking dead episode…”

First of all, just as usual, we went to grab a shopping cart. There were none. After careful observation, we had to accompany a person with a loaded cart to their car, wait for them to unload it while throwing menacing glances around to discourage anyone to try and grab it before us.

Once inside, we were shocked to see empty rows on empty rows of food while people could barely push their overloaded carts around. I deeply resent the fact that we had to rush in an uncivilized manner to grab the last loaf of bread before someone with a cart full of bread could grab it. This enlightened Libra is still under shock. Let me tell you: It’s  very difficult to remain civilized when competing for the last loaf of bread with people who think they’re out on a supply run in a walking dead episode. In case you’re wondering, we did our best to calmly rush (if it’s even possible…) to essentials without giving the impression we’re lifetime members of the “toilet paper- crazy group”.

“This gives way to an essential question: How long is it possible to keep our civility and humanity during such time of crisis?”

If walking dead is any indication. Not long…but I am sure it won’t get to that point..

In the meantime, let’s try and stay isolated, hydrated and civilized! Gros bisoux!

THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE LANGUAGES

“Don’t treat people how you yourself would like to be treated, treat people how they themselves want to be treated. There is a big difference…”

What is love? Love means different things for different people for sure. We all have different ways of showing and receiving love. I suppose it all boils down to love language. To me love is action. I can see it’s the same for my husband as well except we take different actions to show we care. I have noticed people have a tendency to express love the same way they would like it expressed towards them.

“I’d say my love language is pretty simple…I inspire meaning I am your muse.

As a muse the contract is simple: You’ll do all the work and I’ll take all the credit.”

When I love someone I tend to see them in their best light. The problem with leaving under a constant “best light” is that falling short is always around the corner. Sooner or later all gods begin to show their human sides.  My kind of love is:

  • I direct, encourage and grow. Sounds like a an agent, I know. I believe it’s my duty to advise people closest to me. If that sounds like a high-priestess of hype forgive me, I am a Libra after all…🙄
  • I protect by making sure no one takes advantage of or abuse the people I love except myself if course😜. My husband calls it “isolation tactics”😂.
  • I multiply by encouraging you to be the best that you can be meaning you won’t have a moment of peace until you go for that promotion…. just like I instructed told you.
  • And last but not least I inspire which means I am your muse for better or worse and as a muse, the contract is simple: you’ll do all the work and I’ll get all the credit. Which maybe why dear husband usually calls himself my “appointed caregiver”.💅🐍

My husband’s love language

He likes to do things to make my life easier and to make me feel taken care of. That may mean picking me up at the bus station so I don’t have to take the bus when it’s awfully cold. It can be preparing a nice meal or getting me something I might have expressed a desire for. As you can see this man’s love is fully grounded in the practical. Which makes you wonder about my own love language…but like I said I am his muse, right?😜💅

In the end it’s about loving a person the way they want to be loved and appreciated.

What about you dear readers, do you think love languages are important in relationships? Is it important to understand each other’s love language within a relationship? Please do share. Bisous and talk soon!🐍😘

The high cost of being the bigger person

The high road and all the things in between…

“The problem with being the bigger person is over time, you really do become a bigger person….you basically become fat. Why? Cause you’re so busy trying to one-up mother Theresa on the throne of goodness and light you just don’t realize your emotions have been eating you up the whole time.”

Spoken like a professional “bigger person”.

The past few weeks have been really stressful. I usually like to view myself as the eye of the storm, the peaceful warrior, a classy person, a lady, the person with the bright smile under pressure. Unfortunately, this fabulous bubble I usually like to build around myself was violently busted. I found myself being hurried, busted and wait for it…SWEARING😱…yes, swearing all the freaking time. Which makes me think a lot of behaviors we’ve come to consider as character traits are in fact products of our environment. Last week I found out it’s very difficult to remain a lady when dealing with shitheads (here we go again swearing🙄) over an extended period of time.

“Put yourself often enough in other people’s shoes and pretty soon even your own shoes won’t fit. So stay in your own damn shoes!”

I was discussing a particular stressful situation I am currently experiencing with an acquaintance of mine and he advised me, if I can, to take the high road and try and buy some peace for the time being. It was good, sensible advice except sometimes peace may end up costing you way more than a full-on war would.

“Take the high road they say…be the bigger person they say…Over the years I’ve realized the high road is not all accolades and bright lights. In fact, the high road is full of hair loss,  tooth decay, cystic acne, wrinkle and bitterness.😓”

Spoken by a person who can’t seem to get off the high road…

In life we do a lot of things for a lot of reasons. Sometimes these reasons are right and sometimes they’re wrong but whatever the reason, there’s always a cost and the cost of any action even small is life. With any action, life is either gained in terms of a fully, happier life or life is lost in terms of loss of quality of life, regrets, bitterness and sometimes even diseases. So before you try and be the next mother Theresa think carefully of the cost cause there is certainly a cost which I am pretty sure even mother Theresa had to pay. If you’re thinking of buying peace know that sometimes peace costs more than war. This was my two cents when it comes to being the bigger person and all the stuff in between…

After this civilized rant I can only hope I’ve helped a tiny bit in getting you ready for Monday by sending you guys out into the big bad world all selfish and petty:😏😼) Thank you for reading and talk soon! Gros bisoux!

How to feel like a winner fast: Small wins

SMALL WINS

“If you look closely you’ll see life is seldom made of those big, huge victory moments but rather small tiny steps towards improvements.”

Last week I had such a terrible week filled with waiting and anxiety and doubt and complete hopelessness. I felt exhausted and so lost. I hate feeling lost, unsure of the next step, unsure if I can even take another step. I truly believe in times like this everybody should have a list of small wins for when you need to feel accomplished and centered fast, sort of like a quick pick-me-up built-me-up. If you look closely you’ll see that life is seldom made of those big, huge victory moments but rather small tiny steps towards improvements. 

I am talking about small wins.  I am not talking about running a marathon while you’ve barely left the couch in the past 10 years. The key point here is it has to be something that makes you feel good and accomplished. It should be a list of small but significant actions that can be done quickly. Naturally that list is going to be different for each person.

A FEW THINGS ON MY LIST OF SMALL WINS (don’t judge me, ok?🙄)

  • Looking at my husband and realizing how much I’ve lucked out with this one… Let’s not say that out loud lest he starts feeling too cocky…😏🐍

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  • Working on a blog post even if it’s just for two minutes makes me feel empowered and I actually tend to be much more efficient when I know I only have 2 minutes. Plus knowing it’s only 2 minutes takes away my excuses not to do it. Quick confession: It also makes me feel very cocky💃
  • Doing my nails💅: Now this may not seem like much but considering how many people walking around with nails that would put Shrek to shame, I’d say it’s a pretty big accomplishment💪😌😏

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  • Sporting a full face of makeup early morning (emphasis on EARLY MORNING please!) when most people look like they haven’t left their bed since 2019🐍💃. Yes, I like looking like I tried….

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“Feeling smug: Thank you mama for those lips!”

  • Comparing my skin to people who are supposed to be younger than me but yet look at least 10 years older….I am petty I know…🐍😏

What about you dear readers? What are the small  things you do to feel accomplished and centered fast? Do share, please!

Gros bisoux and talk soon🐍😘

This woman fell for a bloodsucker…

“Where do we draw the line in relationships? At what point must we stop caring and save ourselves? When do we say enough?”

Last week, I came across a very interesting conversation. I am not usually one to eavesdrop but this time the story was so troubling I couldn’t help myself…

So I am sitting in this very nice coffee shop and a young lady sitting right next to me receives a call from a friend. From what I gathered she was apologizing for being MIA since the death of a very close friend. At this point I was just mildly listening, you know, it was mostly background noise. But the conversation sort of veered towards her boyfriend and let me tell you my ears immediately perked up. An impromptu session of boyfriend bashing? It’s none of my business but sign me up please! There’s nothing a girl likes more than a session of he said/she said.

“By the time a professional abuser’s done with you, you’re gonna need weekly blood transfusion plus regular vitamin shots.”

So like I said she’s just lost a very close friend and apparently while she was busy mourning the loss of this very close friend, dear boyfriend was busy rekindling the passion with his ex. When confronted, his excuse? Well, he was suffering from one of his acute bout of low self-esteem which usually prompts him to look for affection and attention wherever he can find it. And this time he happened to have found it in the very loving and ready arms of his ex! After much heartache and debate, the poor girl decides to forgive him and help him get through this provided he seeks professional help.

Naturally like any self-respecting person listening in from the side line I was offended and disgusted with said boyfriend. If what she’s saying is correct, what this guy really deserves is to find himself naked in the streets on the coldest night of Winter. Maybe then he’ll realize how it feels to be abused by someone you trust and love?

Now listen to this: The poor girl must constantly keep an eye on him lest of course he feels neglected and go back to his ex. Naturally with all this going on she feels like she doesn’t have enough space to grieve and take proper care of herself…. And guess who called while she was on the phone? Mr. professional abuser himself. He wanted her to get him breakfast. I even got to take a close enough look at the bloodsucker while he was waiting outside for his breakfast and while good looking enough, his face looked lame and conceited.

I pitied the poor girl who probably thinks she’s being a supporting girlfriend while she’s clearly nothing but another host. I am not a violent person but listening in I felt like yelling at her: “Leave this bloodsucker now or you’re gonna need a blood transfusion and vitamin shots by the time he’s done with you.” Of course I did none of that cause I felt it wasn’t my place.

I admit it was hard to just sit by and listen without doing anything. In fact, I found myself still thinking about her a week later. She probably wasn’t stupid. You could hear it in her voice that her heart knew this was not a normal situation but I guess she was just so lost and in such grief at the moment that she just wasn’t thinking clearly.

I prayed she opens her eyes and realize he does not deserve her. I really do. The whole thing felt like standing by and watching someone drown but I couldn’t logically jump in with a bunch of unsolicited advice. Anyways, the whole thing was just so sad….

What about you dear readers? What do you make of the whole situation? Where do we draw the line in relationships? At what point must we stop caring and save ourselves? When do we say enough? Was this girl stupid or just lost? Was the boyfriend a professional abuser or just at his lowest? Is this even the whole truth? It would be interesting to know what you guys think! Gros bisous and talk soon!

 

Life is a marathon, not a sprint!

“If life’s a bitch isn’t it better to sprint through the crap than taking a leisurely walk?

I used to hear people say that all the time (Life is a marathon, not a sprint) and it used to get on my nerves. Why can’t life be a sprint? Now with a couple of hard-earned lessons from the school of hard-knocks under my belt, I am forced to realize there is some truth in that…

Growth is the law of life. You see it never stops. You reach a goal, that goal creates a new goal which creates new levels which creates new devils. Of course there is also satisfaction and joy somewhere in there however brief.

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint so get comfortable in the fight cause you don’t get to pause that hamster wheel just because you think you’ve made it. Some things take time. You don’t get to rush them. You can simply work your hardest and wait.”

Now this does not mean we shouldn’t try to solve our problems as fast as we can. Some of life puzzles can be solved rapidly if we work hard and smart, it simply means not all things can be solved as fast as we want it. Some things take time no matter how hard we work and how fast we want to go through them. Things like keeping healthy, building strong ties with family and friends, knowing self and finding something one is good at are ongoing challenges and do not stop just because we’ve reached a milestone or have been crowned 30 under 30 (Insert slightly bitter over 40 emoji here).

There’s no guarantee so take time to enjoy the scenery and smell the flowers along the way.

There is no guarantee. Just because you spend every waking moment building your dreams, relationships and health doesn’t mean they’ll last or that you’ll even get to enjoy them. Death happens to us all. Sickness happens to all of us. People change. Which is why it’s important to enjoy life while chasing that goal and make time for living.

I must say it took me a long time to get there as I sincerely thought I could speed up everything. But recent life events have forced me to reconsider.

What about you my dear readers? What do you think? Do you consider life to be a sprint or a marathon? There’s no right or wrong answer. Gros bisoux 🙂

When somebody you love does something truly disgusting.

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“The face you make when you’re trying to act like it didn’t happen.”

Last week my niece called me at work in the middle of the afternoon. My heart skipped a bit and my mind automatically went into overdrive: Something terrible must have happened. Did something terrible happened? OMG! Something terrible did happen….(Yeah as you can see I have issues…🙄😂).

Me: “Are you all right?”

Niece: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “Then why are you calling me in the middle of the day at work?”

She never calls me mid-day weekdays. She either calls me early morning while walking her dog Yuki or late at night. Never in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.”

Niece:” Don’t worry, nobody died! But guess what?”

Me: “What? Spit it out!”

Niece: “Yuki just ate a dead rat.”

Me: “Ewww! Yuki is badass! I am both disgusted and impressed.”

It’s like learning somebody you took for granted cheated. You’re both disgusted and secretly impressed.

Niece: “Don’t say that! I am horrified and traumatized. I’ll never look at her the same ever again”.

(Soft dramatic music playing…😂😌)

Me: “I understand. It’s like overhearing your preteen talk about sex. Something is lost that can never be recovered.”

Niece: “OMG! That’s exactly how I feel!”

Me: ” But where would she find a dead rat though?”

Niece: “We were walking on the beach when we saw the dead rat. Before I knew it she lunges forward, grabs it and run. I tried to stop her but she ran away from me. Can you believe it? The little rascal ran away from me!”

Me: “Makes sense….maybe she didn’t want to share.”

Niece: “Don’t joke with that! I am worried!”

Me: “Sorry. Did you call the vet?”

Niece:” Yeah, she said it’ll pass through her poop or vomit. Plus she has a checkup coming up soon so we’ll see…”

She sounded so disappointed at this point and I am trying hard not to laugh.

Niece: “Can’t believe she did that, I am truly horrified!”

Me: “Very disappointing. After all the money you spent teaching her to be human.”

Niece: “I know…..Well I got to go to work now. Talk to you later?”

Me: “Sure! Let me know how it goes and don’t worry, she’ll be fine!”

Apparently Yuki just got her first taste of crime. Just like most people she did not personally commit the crime, she simply benefited from it 😋. I’ll admit Yuki’s not the only one. After learning she was gonna be all right, I immediately hurried to ask for a pic of the rascal for my next blog🤫🙄.

The thing is we all have felt the same in some way when somebody we love and thought we knew displays an offending behavior revealing a side of themselves we either didn’t know existed or refuse to acknowledge. And in that moment we think we’ll never forgive and forget but we do. Love takes over. Not all the time but sometimes it does.

What about you dear reader? When was the last time somebody you love and trust did something truly disgusting. And it doesn’t have to be a pet! Let me know in the comments and Gros bisoux!

So what if it has already been done before?

“It’s about taking chances, growth and overcoming.

Last Sunday I had an interesting conversation with dear husband on the subject of doing things that have already been done before. That day, I’d just had one of the most productive afternoon (during which I edited a blog post The challenges of being an introvert. ) and tackled other content related stuff. Naturally, I just couldn’t wait to get home and receive duly praise:

Me: “I had such a productive day today! It felt so good to finally tackle some stuff.”

Dear husband: “I am so proud of you, honey! You’ve got this! You just need to keep going.”

Naturally, with such an overwhelmingly positive reception I proceeded to overextend myself by making grand plans to take over the world in the next 48 hours🙄🤯.

Me: “Thank you honey! I am also planning on posting more often say like twice a week and maybe add some type of style content to the blog. We’ll see!”

DH: Complete silence. The sort of polite and respectful silence you’d give a dying patient making plans for the future. 

Me: “Hello?!! What do you think?”

DH: “You mean like a What I wore today kind of thing? Everybody’s doing that!”

Me: “Well, would you prefer I do a what I did not wear today instead?” I said frustrated.

DH: “Well, I am sorry for interrupting your world domination plans with a dose of reality but somebody’s got to be the voice of reason in all this!”

Me: “Right now, you’re sounding more like the voice of doom!”

DH: “All am saying is you have something good here so tick with it. Don’t chase too many things at once.”

Vexed and irritated, I retrieved into an honorable silence to lick my wounds. 

The man does have a point considering I’ve been known for getting overly excited and then quickly dropping into sudden desperation. BUT on the other hand…

There’s absolutely nothing new under the sun. Most everything have all been done before and done to death. Should that stop you and me from engaging in something we may possibly end up loving? Certainly not! Easier said than done, I know😅.

“Sometimes it’s difficult to be original from the get go and find the right angle from the outside, so we should get into the habit of getting involved in things that interest us and cultivate them with no expectation other than learning and having fun. Detachment from the outcome is key here.”

Last but not least, we must remember that it hasn’t been done until we’ve done it (Insert smug and overbearing emoji here). 

Fun fact: Sex is one thing that has been done and done to death yet this has never stopped anyone from indulging…🤫

What about you, dear readers? Have you gone through a similar thing? How did you handle it? Please share! Gros bisoux and talk soon!🐍😘

The challenges of being an introvert.

“Contrary to most people I don’t go out to meet people, I go out to be alone. My husband thinks it’s troubling. I think it’s a sign of great intelligence🙄.”

Me and dear husband we get along quite well but the longer we’ve been together, the more I realize how different we are on a lot of things. At first look I’d say I am an introvert and my husband is an extrovert. He likes being around people and I am more into pointed interactions (My husband says it’s a nice way of saying “I am antisocial”). Consequently finding a common ground can be quite challenging and makes for very interesting interactions…

Exhibit A: Me getting ready to go out on a Saturday morning.

Dear husband: “You’re going out to meet a friend? Cool!”

Me: “No, not really.”

DH: “Why not? Call a friend or something…”

Me:  “Why? I just want to be alone”.

DH: “Why go out then? Just lock yourself up in the basement and you’ll be all alone”.

Me: “No, I won’t. Because you’ll come knocking and bug me.”

DH: ” I am not sure how I should take this….”

Me: “Plus, unlike you I don’t need people to enjoy myself!”

DH: “Yeah..and that’s the scary part.”

Feeling like an alien, I then proceed to try and justify my behavior.

Me: “Well, I guess it’s a way of being social without having to interact with people…”

DH: “Not sure if you realize it but being social sort of implies having actual interactions with people.”

Exhibit B: Dear husband comes home all excited because he and some friends have planned some kind of couple outing.

Dear husband: “We’ve been invited!”

Me: “But why? Who did that?”

DH: “You’re saying it like somebody committed a crime or something?”

The last time we had that same discussion, he won so I remained silent.

DH: “Ok, you’re clearly not excited about the prospect. How about we invite them here?”

I don’t answer. I look as overwhelmed as a new mom who’s just given birth to quadruplets.

Me: “It’s gonna be worse! We’re gonna have to be nice and let them stay for however long they want…”

DH: “Well, you could try throwing them out…”

Me: “That would be one way of making sure they don’t come back….”

DH: “!!!??????” Clear signs of system failure showing on his face…🤯

I am not gonna lie, being an introvert comes with its own sets of blessings and challenges. I sometimes think I’ll end up as an old insufferable cat lady who spends her time mumbling to herself😂. What about you dear readers? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? What do you find most challenging? Please share! Gros bisoux and talk soon!🐍😋