Weight loss diaries: Forever trying to lose weight

In life, there are times when you’re gonna be as skinny as a celery stick and times when you’re gonna be as fat as a sack of mashed potatoes🤦🏾‍♀️. Get used to both cause starting over is the name of the game.

The other day, I caught myself being pissed at myself (breaking news😂). It seems every year I find myself trying to lose 5-10 Pds either because I am skinny and ungrateful (never skinny enough which can be a disease in itself😩) or fat and delusional (surprisingly when I am really fat that’s when I think I have the least amount of weight to lose🙄). Sometimes I feel like I spend my time fighting petty diet stuff in my head all day long.

Hence, this excerpt of a convo I’ve had with myself so many times it’s not even funny anymore:

Husband makes homemade hamburger buns and instead of saying “Thank you” and enjoying said burgers here I am once again going around in circle in my mind:

Lower self: “I am going to eat two burgers. I am starving!”

Higher self: “Eat two but take one as an open bun. Less carb...”

Lower self: “You don’t have to do that, it’s homemade. Take two full buns.”

Higher Self: “You’ve been gorging on carbs for two days now on the account of it being homemade.”

Lower Self: “Life is short, Covid have thought us that much so take two buns and add some chips while you’re at it.”

Higher Self: “Ok, so now we’re adding chips too?

Lower Self: “They’re air -fried sweet potato and yucca chips, you fool! Doesn’t get better than that.”

Higher Self: “Fine! Eat them you weak thing! Just don’t come crying to me when Summer hits and you’re looking 3 months pregnant.”

Lower Self: “Shut up you pessimistic bully! She can always google how to dress a pregnant belly when not pregnant.”

ME: 😲😲😲😲😲🤕

And just in case you’re wondering how that ended, just know I ate the two full bun burgers plus the chips and some desert. To tell you the truth I felt like I deserved it after that intense session of self-flagellation.

Now, what’s the point of this story you may ask: Well, there are two points to this story:

  1. First one is to make myself feel better for using “homemade” as an excuse to overeat.
  2. Second one is to tell you, in case you’ve been lately incline to do so yourself , that it’s a long road and there’s not point beating yourself to a pulp with the celery stick. The goal is to be happy and fit not a miserable dry pepperoni. Nobody has ever accomplished anything by beating themselves up. It’s a work in progress( I should probably record that last bit and keep it close by for when I am having a bad day🙋🏾‍♀️)

Plus, like I tell myself all the time: At the very least, it’s homemade!

Naturally I would be a hypocrite if I did not mentioned the extra pounds are gonna be “home-gained” as well…at the very least😉😋

Favourite at-home workouts to lose fat fast: Results guaranteed after 10 workouts

Hi everyone, I am very thankful for all the love on my last post: (How to get back in shape after the holidays: Take One ). Thank you and welcome to all of my new subscribers!😘🥰

Like I said in the last post, you need to start with what’s easiest whether it’s exercise or diet. For me it’s exercise. So in that sense, let me introduce you to the Firm workouts. I want to talk about the old ones from the 80’s and 90’s, specifically the Firm classics. This series of workouts are usually a combination of cardio, weight lifting and simple but effective body weight exercises.

Fair warning: Book a bed and a nurse for the next two days before you try any of these workouts.”😩

I first encountered the firm classics at a second hand shop where I casually grabbed one of the VHS thinking to myself: “Dear Lord! This must be one of those soft porn exercise videos where naturally skinny women spend their time breathing in and out of ridiculous poses pretending to workout while barely breaking a sweat.”🤦🏾‍♀️ I confessed I picked this one up for two reasons: First, it promised results after 10 workouts and second it was only 0.99 cents. I also found it refreshing to see women looking lean but feminine and not like they’re trying to compete with the incredible hulk.🙄

I told myself I’d do the VHS over the weekend at get a good laugh at the very least. And laugh, I did but not the nice belly laugh of righteousness I was expecting but the kind of embarrassing laugh you give when you’re too ashamed to admit defeat so you keep going even if you know there’s a strong possibility you may be bedridden for life.

Number one: The firm body sculping Basics with Susan Harris: The one that started it all for me!

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I was shocked at the intensity of these workouts. I was also pissed at the smiling ladies in bright outfits acting like they were on a picnic and making it seem like a breeze while it was clearly not😤. One thing for sure, they were not lying when they say results guaranteed after 10 workouts. You may not be able to walk or sit properly but you will get results if you keep at it. And that’s all that matters, right?

PROS:

  1. Results guaranteed after 10 workouts.
  2. Moves are simple and straight forward. None of that “jump and land on your head” type of move you often see in certain workout videos🙄. If you know how to walk, you can do these workouts.
  3. You can grow with these workouts. As you become more efficient you can add more weights so you’re never bored.
  4. You’ll work major muscle groups to failure. Before the firm, I had no idea what “muscle failure” meant. It means you essentially work your muscles until it feels like someone is literally pouring liquid fire on them.

Naturally, since I now know what to expect, I have to psych myself every time I am about to work out.🤷🏾‍♀️

CONS:

You won’t like doing them.

The Firm Parts Standing legs:

This one focuses on the lower body. And as if it’s even possible it’s even harder than the volume one with Susan Harris🙄 (in my humble opinion). Although the body weight segment in the Volume One is not for the faint of the heart. After doing this one, you’ll feel muscle you don’t even have!

The firm classic low impact aerobics vol. 2 with Janet Jones:

Don’t let the pretty face fool you! You’ll sweat and swear equally but you’ll be happy you did afterwards.

Classic Firm: Aerobic workout with weights with Sandhal Bergman. I believe this is the one where they introduced the “Fanny lifter” which is supposed to give you the hips of a race horse and who wouldn’t want that?😛

That’s it for my favourite workout DVDs; thank me later! Actually no, thank me now since there’s a good chance you may not want to speak to me again after doing either the standing legs or the vol. one.😅

If you’ve tried any of these workouts or are planning on trying them; if you have any other workouts you’re using that you love, please drop a comment below and let me know. I’d love to hear about them!

If you’d like to read about other type of workouts I’ve talked about on this blog, you can also check out this post: ( Workout that delivers: 30 min hit )

Bisoux😘🐍

Number one weight loss mistake: Failing to plan for failure

Today I am back with another article in my weight loss journey. You can read about my last post here (How to get back in shape after the holidays: Take One).

Dear husband is usually shocked at my capacity to plan my life around what I eat. In fact, if you were to ask him about my interests, he’d most likely say: Eating and shopping🙄. The minute I finish supper, I am inquiring about breakfast. Mid-breakfast, I am already worried about lunch. Lunch’s barely over that my mouth’s watering over supper. It’s a never ending story.

“Looking at the way I gorged myself on carbs these past weeks, I am not quite sure whether my goal is to be chubby fit or slim🤦🏽‍♀️. I am most certainly heading towards chubby fit….”

Which brings me to a very important component in a weight loss journey: The cheating pattern. Most people fail because they plan for success but fail to plan for failure. In their head, there’s only room for success so when failure happens they find themselves completely unprepared. They assume they are these great beings blessed with outstanding disciplines.

It’s not enough to say I cheated on my diet. You need to also take a cold look at the circumstances of this cheating and come up with a practical solution for the future to either prevent or diminish such occurrence. What was the situation? Who were you with? what time was it? What happened before? What happened after? what mood were you in? We’re looking for a pattern that usually lead you to cheat. Until you can recognize this pattern, willpower won’t work.

Last week and this week😶 were bad in terms of diet. I ate when I felt low and I ate when I felt happy, I ate when it was cloudy and I ate when it was sunny. I was all over the place. In order to move forward I need t o look at each situation in which I ate bad or overate and find a common thread so I can prepare adequately for these moments and limit them as much as possible.

PATTERN RECOGNITION:

Picture this, it’s Friday morning and right after breakfast.

9:00 am

Me: “Wheat are we going to eat for supper? Let’s get something out and plan.”

Dear husband: “Why so soon? We just ate!!!????”

Me: “True”!

We then each go take care of our respective business up until around 1:00 pm. At that time, we usually have a salad with some form protein. We then go back to our respective to-do lists for the day.

6:00 pm – I make a second attempt at planning something to eat with very little conviction since I myself am already slipping into” let’s-purposefully-forget-to-plan-and-order-something kind of mood”. To which dear husband usually gives a half-hearted answer. Naturally, I don’t insist cause I know what’s coming.

8:00 pm – Dear husband comes upstairs to see what I am doing during which time I express the desire of wanting to eat something…anything. At such time, we both agree we have no energy to cook anything. Dear husband pulls out his phone and suggests something like pizza or Indian food. I then offer a very mild version of resistance to which dear husband fail to even acknowledge.

8:45 pm – Whatever we’ve ordered gets delivered. We take it in the TV room.

The End.

SOLUTION

This type of situation usually happens closer to the weekend, like around Thursday. We are going to plan a menu specific to Fridays and Saturdays. We’ll prepare the menu at the beginning of the week and shop accordingly. Mostly something exciting since we often order out because what we have at home is not exciting enough to get us pumped to eat.

For example, on Friday, we can have burger night and prepare everything from scratch. On Saturday, we could buy a nice piece of veal and have some kind of crock pot with some veggies. This will not only provide us with breakfast for Sunday morning therefore allowing us to avoid binging on croissants but also serve as a base for a few more meals the following week. I believe that’s what most people would call adulting😏.

Since it’s obviously turning into a Serie, I will update you on how we’re doing on that count next week and possibly talk about other pitfalls. In the meantime, take care, stay safe and bisoux!🐍😘

How to get back in shape after the holidays: Take One

Last year right in the middle of quarantine, dear husband and I started limiting our carbs and eating mostly protein and veggies. With that, by mid-October I had already lost close to 18 pounds. I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I was of myself.

While most everyone around me were crumbling under insane amounts of weight gain with some even growing extra chins in the process; there I was, 15 pounds lighter, walking around like the last man standing. Naturally, what was bound to happen, happened. I became cocky…”

And so disturbingly so I became complacent. I started slipping and not the kind of slipping where you miss a step. No. The kind of slipping where you miss so many steps you can’t even retrace your steps. All this to say; I am back on the getting back in shape bandwagon and it’s not funny. It goes without saying that I am bitter as well 🙄

If I look intelligent, it’s because I am not breathing🤣

So, with that in mind, please allow me to serve as both a warning and a messenger of hope with a few advice to help you stay the course of getting back in shape. A few rules I try to follow whenever I am trying to get back on the weight loss bandwagon:

  1. Start right now! Do not wait for your fridge to be empty or your cook to die so you can be free from temptation. Start now.
  2. Start with exercise or diet? Just start with what’s easiest for you. For me it’s exercise but it does not have to be long. It could be just 20 or 15 or 10 minutes of a fitness video or a simple walk.
  3. Start small and build it up from there. The point is to get into the habit, not having result right away: One good thing I did right before the holidays was that I maintained or at least tried to maintain my exercise routine which was and still remains two sessions of weight lifting twice a week. Because I knew it was gonna be difficult getting back in shape after such a big slip and I didn’t want to find myself not only cleaning up my diet but also trying to get back to a new exercise routine.
  4. Redefine result: When we’re trying to lose weight, we tend to obsess over the scale and lose track of other measures of result. Replace the word result by improvement. Instead of keeping track of weight lost or gained, at first; keep track of improvements. A few other “measures of result” that we don’t often stop to realize are: Having a bit more energy, mood improving, sleep improving, more focus… so enlarge your definition of result. I know it’s difficult because when I first heard of that same thing I was like, who cares if I am sleeping well as long as I am skinny?🙄
  5. Start a journal to keep track of any positive things happening as a result of your new efforts.
  6. Give yourself 6 weeks to start seeing some improvement. Notice I did not say results but improvements. There is a difference.

Next week I will continue with other tips and let you know how I am personally failing at taking my own advice😅 and update you on my getting back in shape journal. If you have any other tips and experience, please comment below. I’d love to hear them!

Bisoux and talk soon:)😘🐍

How to get into the best shape of your life and keep the weight off for good

“Look at it as self-care, something ongoing like brushing your teeth every morning. You don’t brush your teeth for summer and then forget all about them for winter. At least I hope you don’t for your own sake”😉

The face you make weighing yourself on Monday after living it up the entire weekend🙄

A few years ago I started having problems I’ve never had before like digestive problems, overloaded liver, big up and downs in energy, anemia and my fibroids coming back with a vengeance. As usual, I ignored them and continue my lifelong quest of being skinny. But when the body is tired, there’s no ignoring so the hints became stronger and stronger until they could no longer be ignored. This is what forced me into viewing the health of my body in a different way because the old way simply wasn’t working anymore. I still struggle with my old “get skinny at any cost mentality” but I do believe I am getting better. so how do you get into the best shape of your life? My humble take on it below and I am still learning:

Examine the reasoning behind it: The reasons why we do things strongly influence the way we do things.

Back in the days I would lose weight for summer, gain it all back during winter and lose it all again for the upcoming summer except most times I would not necessarily be as successful as the last time and there would always be some kind of residual pounds left. But then again it makes sense when you look at it: If I am only losing weight for summer, it’s only logical that I gain it all back once summer is over, right? But if I am simply caring for my body and giving it what it needs when it needs it, then it becomes not a specific goal for a specific time but simply a way of life.

Change the way you see your body: Instead, see your body as your number one ally in this thing called life

When I was young and careless, I used to think my body was my slave, my bitch literally but as I became more matured, I realized my body is more than this separate entity that needs to fit into specific sizes. Instead, I am starting to see my body more and more as my most prized possession, my number one ally in this thing called life. Consequently, I understand I need to care for it in the gentlest possible way so it can last as long as possible and that made all of the difference. I want to buy clothes that fit my body and not force my body to fit into clothes that does not fit it. I want to be healthy first and foremost even if it means a curvier version of me. I don’t want to be skinny, I want to be fit (Can’t believe I am saying that🙄).  I acknowledge that my body is changing and I need to accommodate it by giving it what it needs. Which means: Proper nutrition, good sleep, rest and relaxation. Believe me, it’s not easy for someone accustomed to the next crazy diet and next crazy exercise (Proof: Workout that delivers: 30 min hit) but I am getting there. Me thinks it finally clicked.

The minute you start viewing your body, your health in this way, you soon realize you don’t have to hop on the next crazy diet. You have time. In fact, you have your entire life to get in the best shape of your life. No stress, no abusing your body.

What about you guys? Would you like to add something to the conversation? Has this quarantine forced you to see caring for your body in any different way? How has your view on health and wellness changed as you’re evolving into a better, more matured version of yourself?

Losing the post quarantine weight: The Dukan diet

Losing the post quarantine weight: The Dukan diet

”Post-quarantine, I am the heaviest I’ve ever been yet the happiest. Still, happiness is not an excuse to double in size unless of course you’re training to be a sumo wrestler…which I am not.”

Monday, July 13th:

Post-quarantine weight: Undisclosed due to a massive amount of ego😎

Progress report as of as of July 13th: So far I’m down 5. 94 lbs (I am strongly tempted to round the .94 to 1 lbs 😋)

First stepping on the scale since quarantine: Monday, June 29th. 

On this diet you can eat as much as you want and being a natural-born glutton I find that comforting. There’s just one caveat…it’s strictly protein and veggies. To my knowledge most people are not inclined to overeat when carb and sugar are not the main ingredients. So skinnytown here I come!”

To be fair this post should be titled losing the pre and post-quarantine weight. As much as I would love to blame quarantine for my surprising (although I know exactly how it happened😉) weight gain, I still somehow feel the need to accept some responsibility for this weight gain🙄. 

Today marks three weeks since I’ve been on the Dukan diet. The last time I was on this diet I had about 10 pounds to lose which I lost very easily. Maybe because I wasn’t as fat as I thought…🙄. If you were skinny and you didn’t know it raise your hands🙆🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️.

Well, this time unlike last time, I am really overweight (About 20 pds overweight😶)

What is the Dukan diet?

It’s a high quality protein/low carb diet structured in 4 phases: Attack, Cruise, consolidation and stabilization. You can find more by following this link: (https://www.dukandiet.com/low-carb-diet/4-phases).

What I like about this diet:

  1. You can eat as much as you want as long as long as you stick with the list of food below which is pretty extensive if you ask me.

2. Since you’re eating strictly lean protein and veggies for a while, it acts as a natural appetite suppressant. Most people are not highly motivated to overeat where carb and sugar are not the main ingredient. 

3. You can go the the Dukan website and have an outline made for you using the 4 phases of the diet depending on your current weight, goal weight as well  as your true weight. The plan tells you how long each phase will last based on your ”predicament😉”

4. Have you ever had recipe books with ingredients so exotic, you’d need to travel around the world just to get them🙄? Well, not with their recipe book. But then again I could be wrong since dear husband cooks most of our meals. I am only the assistant chef after all. It may take a little time to get around but the ingredients used are easy enough to find and most importantly they are ”swappable”.

5. In the book, there are plenty of dessert recipes to chose from which is always a plus. As an example you have a cheese cake recipe that is not bad at all (food pic number 1).

And just in case you’re tempted to feel sorry for me, here’s a few pics of what I’ve been eating so far😁

Number 1 and 2 are from the Dukan recipe book. The fries are rutabaga fries and they were so good! I think I may turn this into a serie complete with food journal where I’ll report weight and observations while on this diet. What do you think? Let me know!

Gros bisoux!😎🐍

 

 

 

 

Sticking to an exercise routine

Will walk for a double espresso with 3 brown sugars.

How many times have you tried to encourage or enforce a certain behaviour simply with fear of punishment?

In my case, plenty of times. In fact me think self-flagellation may be my default-mode😫. You can read all about my torture chamber here and I can’t even promise I won’t be back Workout that delivers: 30 min hit

The carrot and stick method

According to Wikipedia The phrase “carrot and stick” is a metaphor for the use of a combination of reward and punishment to induce a desired behaviour.

An example of “stick” I’d try to beat myself with in order to exercise regularly:

Me to myself: “Do you want thighs that look like Swiss cheese?”😛

The vision of a future me with “Swiss cheese thighs” kept me motivated for like 5 seconds after which I ate an enormous piece of french toast.  Plus it’s not like I walk around with my thighs around my neck where everybody can see them, so that wasn’t motivation enough.

“With the proper carrot, there’s absolutely no need for a stick of any kind. It’s a simple case of something to look forward to VS something to be afraid of.”

Instead of a “stick” (punishment), I decided to use the “carrot” (reward)

Lately, I’ve been averaging 8,000 – 10,000 steps a day…effortlessly…no matter the weather.

My secret? There’s a little coffee shop located in the bus station nearby our house so to motivate myself to walk for 45 minutes every morning, I decided that instead of taking my morning coffee at home, I’d walk 20 minutes back and forth (total 45 minutes) to go and get my coffee at the said coffee shop.

Since I am addicted to my morning coffee anyways I might as well couple it with something  healthy and beneficial, like walking.

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Will walk for a double-espresso with 3 brown sugars. I feel so accomplished I could cry😎!

Doesn’t matter if it’s windy, slippery, rainy, cold, humid, I’ve got to get my coffee so I’ve got to walk. Period. I am not even doing it for my health, as sad as this sounds, I am doing it for a double espresso with three brown sugar. Yes I know sugar! the shame of it all! BUT it gets me walking.

I forbid myself to take my first cup of coffee at home.  At first it was a bit difficult since I usually take my morning coffee with dear husband. So I’d leave the house before dear husband wakes up so I am not tempted by seeing him drinking his coffee.

It’s been working pretty well so far and I intend to keep going. I suppose you have to know what motivates you and try a few things before settling on anything particular.

Anyways, I hope I was able to motivate you even if briefly to try and stay active any way you can during those quarantine times.

If you have something that’s been working for you, please do share. I’d love to hear it! Bisoux!😘🐍

What to do when you’ve blown your diet

The goal is not to beat yourself up but to find out what went wrong and prevent it from happening too often.

“Forgive yourself and resist the urge to stick to plain water for the next 100 years.”

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Surprisingly, the day we ate two pizzas, one entree and 16 wings started well enough. As usual I woke up, showered, got dressed, pat down a cocktail of serum on my face until it became numb and put on some bright lipstick. I also went for a 45 min walk. I know I should be awarded a medal😎. On top of that, I made some quinoa and black beans for lunch. Had I just ran a marathon, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have been any prouder.

But then it started to go downhill from that point on…We’re in the kitchen getting dinner ready. We’ve prepared a chicken dish and it’s in the oven and getting crispy. But somehow a little demon started whispering “pizza” in my ears😈. First, I tried to ignore it. That lasted about 5 seconds, then I heard myself saying “Well, if it wasn’t such a bad idea, we could order pizza”. Dear husband didn’t answer at first. I took that as a chance to get back to my senses. Just when I thought I’d successfully crossed that bridge with minimum damage to my waistline, I heard him say: “what kind?”

Me: “What do you mean what kind?”

Dear husband: “What kind of pizza?”

While I am a woman of my words, dear husband is certainly a man of his actions. He’ll only discuss something while doing it or once it’s done. So we had pizza while our healthy dinner was practically done!

FOR HAVING BEING THERE DONE THAT, HERE’S WHAT I DO WHEN I’VE BLOWN IT:

  1. Forgive yourself and resist the urge to stick to plain water for the next hundreds years.
  2. Rewind and look at the whole sequence of events leading to that point when you went hog wild:
    • I was in the basement which is very comfortable – I had been hungry for more than 2 hours – I wasn’t particularly hungry for what I was going to eat for super
  3. By the time we got down to cooking dinner we were already too hungry. Don’t wait till you’re hungry to make make something to eat. Prep all food in advance and get them ready before you get hungry so that by the time you’re hungry you have something ready made. As a matter of fact, plan all of your meals for that day as soon as you wake up.
  4. Watch out for those moments when you’re particularly vulnerable and plan for them. Sometimes it’s not always between good and bad. It’s between bad and worst.
  5. Make it easy to do the right thing. Make sure your environment support the healthy habit you want to promote. I know if I am watching TV late at night, there will be some serious damage done to my diet.
  6. Make a food journal

For me personally, I feel like it’s important to try and maintain some kind of discipline (After 2 pizzas and 16 wings that is😏), specially during this quarantine. Yes, we’re inside now for the most part but at some point we’re gonna have go out and I don’t have money to buy a new wardrobe to accommodate quarantine weight gain so I got to deal😛.