Bringing up baby: The first few weeks with a new puppy

“The first night we brought her home, we started grinning at everything she did with wonder and admiration. We grinned through her sleeping and eating like a glutton. Heck, we even grinned when she started farting with great abandon.”

Remember this post: A new addition to the family?

Noticed how blissfully happy we look in this pic? The sort of happiness only seen in people blissfully unaware of what lays ahead.

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“When you’re blissfully unaware of what’s to come.”

I remember when hubby announced we’ve finally saved enough to get a dog, he tried to warm me up to the idea that the first weeks may prove to be difficult. I acted with the disdain of a clueless little person who’s out of her league and does not even know it:

Hubby: ” Just so you know, it’s gonna be a tough few weeks, I mean at the beginning…”

Me: ” You can be so negative๐Ÿ˜ซ. It’s not like we’re getting a full size Shrek or something๐Ÿ™„…”

Hubby: ” Well…”

Me (Cutting him off): “Listen, I’ve had plenty of dogs! You don’t have to worry about me! Worry about yourself!”๐Ÿ˜

Fast forward a week later, we have not slept full nights since this beautiful, happy, angel face of a doggy entered our lives. But not to worry, she herself sleeps plenty as evidenced by the pic below.

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Clearly her bills are paid!

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”Her favourite way of showing discontentment is by screaming her head off at nights as if suddenly possessed whenever she wakes up to the reality that she’s not, as her dreams would have her believe, in our bed but in hers.”

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No bed, no problem! When you can sleep anywhere!

Like many new parents, we made the mistake of letting her sleep in our bed. After one too many sleepless nights, we learned our lesson and are now in the process of trying to get her to sleep in the cute little doggy bed we bought her just for that. As expected, she’s justly outraged. Well, more like pissed.

Without going into great details, just know the past few weeks I’ve cleaned more poop than I’ve ever cleaned in my entire life…

Her toys of predilection are shoes, feet of chairs and anything within chewing distance.

In spite of all this, do we still love her? Yes. Because we decided we don’t mind suffering as long as we get to have someone that cute in our lives. Plus she’s just our type: Cute and expensive!

If you like this article, don’t forget to share and subscribe!

Gros bisous! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜˜

A new addition to the family

We haveย  a new addition to the family and her name is Rhubarbe! This is of course without counting my niece’s dogs (See how cute they areย here )

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Dear followers, just know you barely escaped a gender reveal. Of course, to make up for that expect the next blog posts to be flooded with pics of Rubarbe #Shamelessnewparents#

Now you may think to yourself, why did they (I meant “Me”) have to go and name the first addition to the family after a comestible plant๐Ÿ™„? Well, just know the poor dog came this close to be named “Cinnamon” (“Cannelle” in French)! Plus dear hubby owed me one. You see, “Cinnamon” was supposed to be the name of our first future daughter but when I dared to “suggest” the name to dear husband, here’s what happened:

Me: “If we ever have a daughter, I have a perfect name”!

Hubby: “Yeah…?”

Me: “Cinnamon”

Hubby: “Over my dead body.”

Me: “Why?!!” (I was sincerely disappointed๐Ÿ˜”)

Hubby: “I believe it’s one ofย  the top 10 hooker names…๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ซ.”

Me: “Oh!!??…But we can still…”

I was abruptly interrupted.

Hubby: “Like I said…over my dead body.”

I let it go…this time…BUT as a true female of my specie, I was waiting for him around the corner where he least expected it so as soon as it became sure we were gonna be parents to a dog I came back full force and I said: “Well, since you don’t want me to call our future daughter “Cinnamon”, I get to name the dog!”. The poor man was trapped so he agreed (more like gave up). It was between “Cinnamon” and “Rhubarbe” but since apparently, according to dear husband, it was the year of the “R” (names starting with “R”) for dogs, “we” (I”” ๐Ÿ˜‰) named her “Rhubarbe”

#When you”re cute and you know it๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜

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“When you’re cute and you know it!๐Ÿ˜Ž”

Isn’t she cute? My work is still not done because they’re already ganging up on me. I guess it’s a father-daughter thing, eh?๐Ÿ˜œ

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Of course most of my time is spent trying to figure out ways to get her to love me more๐Ÿ˜‚

Like I said expect to be flooded with cute pics!

Bisoux and talk soon!๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

Why I started wearing more colour

“When my mom who’s pure Haitian noticed I was wearing nothing but black and white in most of my pics, she inquired (with great worry) if somebody has just died.”๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฃ

Most times when I am getting ready in the morning, I’ll usually have this kind of convo with dear husband:

Husband: “You should wear more colour’. Colour suits you so well”

Me: (silently pulling out my all black outfit with hints of grey as accent colour. All of this with a smirk on my face.)

Husband: “Hello..Did you hear what I just said?!”

I took some time to answer since I was trying to put that in plain language so he can understand๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Ž. When you’re forced to explain elevation to the masses.๐Ÿ™„

Me:”I know what I am doing. You see, black and white automatically looks more polished, more put together, more…expensive…”

Husband: (shakes head heavily, face heavy with sadness): ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Me: “I don’t expect you to understand, of course….”

Husband: “Right…it’s best to look like a debt collector…but then again what do I know? I am only just a man after all…”

Me: “See…you’re getting there!”

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“A pic of me practising colour therapy and looking absolutely stunning doing it”๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜

If I am honest though, he’s not the only one to tell me that. I remember one time talking to my mom and she said the exact same thing but in an extremely concerned tone:

Mom (๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿฅบ): “Faye (that’s my nickname), are you all right? Is there something going on?

Me (๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ) : ” I am fine, mom. Where does this come from??!”

Mom: “Well, most pics I see of you, you’re only wearing black and white like somebody just died. What’s wrong?”

Me: “What?!!?” ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Naturally, I tried explaining to her that black and white looks more expensive. I could hear her exasperation over the phone as she replied: “

Mom: “Would you please stop attracting bad things to you by wearing nothing but black and white and all those pale colours that make you look like you died just a few hours ago”.

Me: “But mom…”

Mom: “Enough of this! Makes you look like you’re about to cross over into the unknown!”

Parents just don’t understand, eh?๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ I laughed my head off.

In Haiti, people mostly wear black when somebody dies. In times of mourning, it’s not unusual for people to wear black and nothing but black for a certain period of time as a way to cherish someone close who’s died.

You know, thinking back, there was real concern in her voice, like she was really worried and it cracks me up. I spent that day thinking about how certain colours can be perceived in certain cultures and I find that very interesting.

That’s probably why, last year, I made a conscious effort to add more colours to my wardrobe and let me tell you, I am already a changed woman, if I do say so myself๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜‹.

What about you guys? Have you been dragged like myself into wearing more colour or did you just wake up one day and decided to add more colour to your wardrobe? Let me know in the comments below.

Bisoux and don’t forget to like, share and subscribe so you can know what I am up to (#shamelessplug๐Ÿ™„)๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

 

 

We often underestimate people closest to us

We often underestimate people closest to us because well, we live with them! We’ve seen them weak, temporary insane and more. In other words we’ve seen them in all of their glory which is not always a good thing. It happens to me all the time. My husband will try to give me a bit of advice which is sound by the way and I would barely listen and always have something to say or worse intensely nod while thinking about a pair of sunglasses I’ve been thinking of buying. Hence the snippet of convo below:

Me: “Two more pimple on my chin. Great!”

Hubby: “You should lay off the make-up for a while, you know, let your skin breathe.”

Me: “How would you know? No offence but I’m definitely not about to listen to someone with a one-step skincare routine telling me what to do with my skin.”๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Hubby: “Well, maybe that’s why my skin looks so good…”๐Ÿ˜

He obviously has a point so I leave the room quickly in order to save face.

Two seconds later…

I hop on you tube and some random chick says to go without makeup for a while to let your skin breathe….๐Ÿ™„

Me (go find hubby and announce with great pride): “You know, after watching (insert random You Tuber name here), which I follow by the way (Couldn’t exactly tell him I’d just picked up this ‘life saving tip’ from a random You Tuber), I think it’s important to let my skin breathe…so I’ve decided to go without makeup… at least on weekends…๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Ž”

Hubby: “??!!?๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคข!?”

Of course, I leave the room as quickly as I entered because I just realized what I’ve done. I usually let an hour or so pass before making any sort of eye contact…๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‰.

But then again he does it too and this is something I’ve come to accept as part of growing old with someone. Still, I think it’s important to realize when it’s being done and call each other out which dear husband does very well by the way.

Do you do that too with people close to you? Let me know in the comments and don’t forget to like or share this post!

Bisoux and talk next week๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

Losing the post quarantine weight: The Dukan diet

Losing the post quarantine weight: The Dukan diet

”Post-quarantine, I am the heaviest I’ve ever been yet the happiest. Still, happiness is not an excuse to double in size unless of course you’re training to be a sumo wrestler…which I am not.”

Monday, July 13th:

Post-quarantine weight: Undisclosed due to a massive amount of ego๐Ÿ˜Ž

Progress report as of as of July 13th: So far I’m down 5. 94 lbs (I am strongly tempted to round the .94 to 1 lbs ๐Ÿ˜‹)

First stepping on the scale since quarantine: Monday, June 29th.ย 

On this diet you can eat as much as you want and being a natural-born glutton I find that comforting. There’s just one caveat…it’s strictly protein and veggies. To my knowledge most people are not inclined to overeat when carb and sugar are not the main ingredients. So skinnytown here I come!”

To be fair this post should be titled losing the pre and post-quarantine weight. As much as I would love to blame quarantine for my surprising (although I know exactly how it happened๐Ÿ˜‰) weight gain, I still somehow feel the need to accept some responsibility for this weight gain๐Ÿ™„.ย 

Today marks three weeks since I’ve been on the Dukan diet. The last time I was on this diet I had about 10 pounds to lose which I lost very easily. Maybe because I wasn’t as fat as I thought…๐Ÿ™„.ย If you were skinny and you didn’t know it raise your hands๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ.

Well, this time unlike last time, I am really overweight (About 20 pds overweight๐Ÿ˜ถ)

What is the Dukan diet?

It’s a high quality protein/low carb diet structured in 4 phases: Attack, Cruise, consolidation and stabilization. You can find more by following this link: (https://www.dukandiet.com/low-carb-diet/4-phases).

What I like about this diet:

  1. You can eat as much as you want as long as long as you stick with the list of food below which is pretty extensive if you ask me.

2. Since you’re eating strictly lean protein and veggies for a while, it acts as a natural appetite suppressant. Most people are not highly motivated to overeat where carb and sugar are not the main ingredient.ย 

3. You can go the the Dukan website and have an outline made for you using the 4 phases of the diet depending on your current weight, goal weight as wellย  as your true weight. The plan tells you how long each phase will last based on your ”predicament๐Ÿ˜‰”

4. Have you ever had recipe books with ingredients so exotic, you’d need to travel around the world just to get them๐Ÿ™„? Well, not with their recipe book. But then again I could be wrong since dear husband cooks most of our meals. I am only the assistant chef after all. It may take a little time to get around but the ingredients used are easy enough to find and most importantly they are ”swappable”.

5. In the book, there are plenty of dessert recipes to chose from which is always a plus. As an example you have a cheese cake recipe that is not bad at all (food pic number 1).

And just in case you’re tempted to feel sorry for me, here’s a few pics of what I’ve been eating so far๐Ÿ˜

Number 1 and 2 are from the Dukan recipe book. The fries are rutabaga fries and they were so good! I think I may turn this into a serie complete with food journal where I’ll report weight and observations while on this diet. What do you think? Let me know!

Gros bisoux!๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ

 

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THINGS I’VE DONE TO AVOID DEALING WITH REAL LIFE PROBLEMS

In this week’s episode of things I’ve done to avoid dealing with real life problems…

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“The following could easily be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?”

 

First, let’s weed out the “tackle it now” crowd with a couple of meaningful questions๐Ÿ˜‰.

Has your shit hit the fan and people are dropping like dead flies but somehow you still can’t smell it?

Do you routinely give advice you don’t even know how to apply in your own damn life?

Do you look like you always have your shit together even when you’re basically walking around in a deep state of coma?

If so I have a list of small changes that you’re gonna love. These are things I’ve personally done instead of tackling real life problems. Thank me later.๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ

  1. Shaving my head hoping it’ll uncloud my judgement๐Ÿ™„. The minute all my hair’s gone I morph into a puddle of regret, despair and bad decisions.
  2. Make a five-year plan for my husband hoping he’ll make it big and I, yours truly, can finally shop all day. Conniving and delusional…an unbeatable combination, if you ask me ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜
  3. Call my niece and give her “life advice” I myself never practice. Luckily for me she’s a very polite young lady: She just answer the call two weeks later.
  4. Go shopping with money I don’t have hoping a new look will give me a new outlook on life. It’s all about “investing in yourself”…you know…new look, new attitude…๐Ÿ˜”
  5. Paint my nails a bright colour hoping it’ll bring clarity and direction into my life.
  6. Revisit a 5-year plan and pretend it’s a brand new one. Well, technically yes, since I don’t remember doing any of it.๐Ÿ˜
  7. Call a long time bestie and speculate on the meaning of life without ever mentioning any action plan. We usually finish by rounding up the usual suspects: our parents.

Of course, all of this could be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?

Now that you know all my secrets, I hope you won’t mind sharing yours๐Ÿ˜›. Go on and share! I won’t tell!

Gros bisous and talk soon!๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

Quarantine: The weight gain is real!

“If this quarantine doesn’t end soon, I may need a second quarantine to sort out my weight.”

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To all the people who knew me pre-quarantine, don’t be surprised if you fail to recognize me post-quarantine.๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ

Last week, knowing I was probably gonna be working mostly from home, I made a very serious eating plan for quarantine life. The kind of plan you make when you have no intention of sticking to any plan: Drastic and vague (No point writing a book about it since we’re not gonna do it, right?).ย ย 

Like I said: Drastic like “I vow to stay away from all carb from now on and eat extremely healthy however long this quarantine may last”๐Ÿ™„. Of course no precision was given on what I was going to eat to achieve this lofty goal of mine. Why? Because a clear list of food would have made me realized the real cost of my outsized ambition so instead I decided to feed my delusions.ย 

In fact, right after I made that wonderful plan I came home to this:ย 

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Turns out dear husband went grocery shopping and brought home three packs of bagels (shown in the pic above) plus a boatload of croissants (not pictured here since we ate it so fast that by the time this article was written, there was none left!).

“It’s clear dear husband did not get the memo of us munching on celery sticks while sipping lemon water. He’s on a different program. The carb overdose program.”

Imagine starting your quarantine with a boatload of croissants and bagels? It literally felt like a set-up. The croissants only lasted three days. The logic being the sooner we ate it all the sooner we’ll get to go back to our diet. I am not proud of us people, I am definitely not proud of us. To tell you the truth, I feel like I am in the backseat of a speeding car with a dead driver at the wheel.

If this quarantine doesn’t end soon, how am I going to explain all the weight gain? Well, if it’s any consolation most people are going to gain weight. I suppose I could become the only person who refuse to leave quarantine due to weight gain.

As proof, an excerpt of a recent convo with dear husband:

Me: “Oh my God! Look at that pic I just took of myself. I feel like I doubled in size!”

Dear husband: “Yeah…you definitely gained…”

At this point, my eyes are like daggers pointed directly at him. Only a person with foot in mouth syndrome like dear husband would ignore the silent warnings…

Me: “My belly is determined to go North while my butt insist on going South.”

Dear husband: “Yeah, you’re sticking out in all directions..”

The double-headed snake!๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ

The nerve of that man! He’s the one who went grocery shopping for “healthy stuff” and came back with a boatload of croissants and 3 packs of bagels. The thing is though, he’s close to 6 ft tall and I am only 5’2 so the risk of me looking like a can of tuna is getting very real. But then again with this quarantine stuff, the low mood and lack of motivation is real…

Bisoux and keep your social distancing!

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ย 

When somebody you love does something truly disgusting.

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“The face you make when you’re trying to act like it didn’t happen.”

Last week my niece called me at work in the middle of the afternoon. My heart skipped a bit and my mind automatically went into overdrive: Something terrible must have happened. Did something terrible happened? OMG! Something terrible did happen….(Yeah as you can see I have issues…๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚).

Me: “Are you all right?”

Niece: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “Then why are you calling me in the middle of the day at work?”

She never calls me mid-day weekdays. She either calls me early morning while walking her dog Yuki or late at night. Never in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.”

Niece:” Don’t worry, nobody died! But guess what?”

Me: “What? Spit it out!”

Niece: “Yuki just ate a dead rat.”

Me: “Ewww! Yuki is badass! I am both disgusted and impressed.”

It’s like learning somebody you took for granted cheated. You’re both disgusted and secretly impressed.

Niece: “Don’t say that! I am horrified and traumatized. I’ll never look at her the same ever again”.

(Soft dramatic music playing…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Œ)

Me: “I understand. It’s like overhearing your preteen talk about sex. Something is lost that can never be recovered.”

Niece: “OMG! That’s exactly how I feel!”

Me: ” But where would she find a dead rat though?”

Niece: “We were walking on the beach when we saw the dead rat. Before I knew it she lunges forward, grabs it and run. I tried to stop her but she ran away from me. Can you believe it? The little rascal ran away from me!”

Me: “Makes sense….maybe she didn’t want to share.”

Niece: “Don’t joke with that! I am worried!”

Me: “Sorry. Did you call the vet?”

Niece:” Yeah, she said it’ll pass through her poop or vomit. Plus she has a checkup coming up soon so we’ll see…”

She sounded so disappointed at this point and I am trying hard not to laugh.

Niece: “Can’t believe she did that, I am truly horrified!”

Me: “Very disappointing. After all the money you spent teaching her to be human.”

Niece: “I know…..Well I got to go to work now. Talk to you later?”

Me: “Sure! Let me know how it goes and don’t worry, she’ll be fine!”

Apparently Yuki just got her first taste of crime. Just like most people she did not personally commit the crime, she simply benefited from it ๐Ÿ˜‹. I’ll admit Yuki’s not the only one. After learning she was gonna be all right, I immediately hurried to ask for a pic of the rascal for my next blog๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ™„.

The thing is we all have felt the same in some way when somebody we love and thought we knew displays an offending behavior revealing a side of themselves we either didn’t know existed or refuse to acknowledge. And in that moment we think we’ll never forgive and forget but we do. Love takes over. Not all the time but sometimes it does.

What about you dear reader? When was the last time somebody you love and trust did something truly disgusting. And it doesn’t have to be a pet! Let me know in the comments and Gros bisoux!