This shopping addiction could be therapy…

When I was little, one of my dreams when I grow up was to shop until I faint. I do. I shop and dear husband faints (Once he realizes the amount of stuff, still with the tag on, I’ve got hiding in the back of my closet)

I don’t know for you but I find shopping incredibly relaxing. Online shopping, that is. It allows me to clear my head, sort of like a mental flossing. Considering I am in a broke period of my life right now, I mostly browse online. There’s actually very little buying involved. Shameful, I know….Of course it would be nice if a black AmEx card could magically appear while I am doing so but, what can you do, eh? It’s clear I was born to suffer๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿค•.

With quarantine helping, my only solace now lies in filling and emptying my cart online either at H&M or Zara. I don’t actually empty the cart myself…someone (a sadist, no doubt) usually ends up buying the item. The way it’s done is just heartbreaking. The bought item appears crossed out but you can still see it.

H&M pleated faux leather skirt in green olive

Which usually sends me into a pity fest of ”why me๐Ÿ˜ž” with pink violins playing in the back. The last time I woke up to find one my fav item crossed out, dear husband walked in on me, probably thinking I’ve just gotten news somebody died:

Dear husband: “What’s going on”?

Me: “Somebody just bought that olive leather skirt I just put away”

Dear husband: “Still buying stuff you don’t need?”

Me: “No, it’s not that. I mean I don’t actually buy them. I just fill my cart…it’s kind of my happy place right now…”

Dear husband looked sincerely relieved. His training is working. I am adulting big time and it’s all thanks to him. He smiles with the satisfaction of one who specializes in training hard-headed fools….๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜Ž

Dear husband: ” Thought I was your happy place?

Me: ” Not funny, you know. My closet and by extension my life may never feel whole without this skirt.๐Ÿ˜””

Dear husband: “Don’t worry. It’ll come back.”

Me: “How do you know?”

Dear husband:” I do it too.”

Shocker! The man actually has a soul. He feels things much deeper than I ever thought he could. Maybe all is not lost after all….

Now if you’re one of those warrior minimalist type, you’re probably thinking to yourself: “Great! Another sick person trying to pass off their addiction as useful!” You’re absolutely right.

What about you, dear friend? (I always feel like I should be wearing a matching set while saying dear), what’s your happy place? If it’s online shopping browsing, Dm me. We could create a Facebook group. We could call it, say, “Broke online browsers anonymous”. What do you say?

Gros bisoux and stalk soon!๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

The problem with finding your “passion”…๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ฃ

“Major sacrifices will be required and we’re not talking blood of lambs here…”

Last week was my birthday and I am conscious I was all over this space singing the praise of gratefulness and the value of counting one’s blessings and I meant it….except…๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. Today I am coming to you with a rant. If you’re beginning to think human beings default mode could be unwavering ungratefulness, you are not alone dear friend.

Follow your passion and youโ€™ll never work a day in your lifeโ€

This is such a load of bull (excuse my bitterness๐Ÿ˜ฉ). If you look at the real root meaning of the word “passion”, it means : โ€œSuffering, enduring,โ€ from past participle stem of Latin  pati  โ€œto endure, undergo, experience,โ€…The notion is โ€œthat which must be endured.โ€ โ€“ Etymonline

The sad truth is your passion is not going to save you from hard, back-breaking, numbing work. Passion or not you will not escape sacrifices. On the contrary you will have to make even more sacrifices than people who do not insist on skipping to work every day.”

If you think this is depressing wait, there’s even more heartbreaking news coming your way. Hard work is hiding everywhere, even behind this lovely passion of yours so choose carefully; because you won’t be able to work hard on everything all at one.

Most likely while you’re working hard on your passion, your relationships are disintegrating due to neglect. Hard work is most definitely hiding behind this soul mate you think you may have just found; hard work is also hiding behind this new exciting friendship you’re just developing; it’s even hiding behind these beautiful Pinterest inspiration boards (God damn it!). It’s been hiding for decades behind this lovely “boss lady” dripping in brand names and standing in a power pose that could put the incredible hulk to shame(ATTENTION: Stressful, dishevelled nights alone not pictured๐Ÿ™„).

Which is why it’s important to try and prioritize those things that are really important to you and refrain from wanting to win at everything cause the minute you win at something, you lose at something else. You can’t keep all the boats afloat.

So take solace in hard, backbreaking work if you want that passion as much as you say you want it; if you want that relationship as much as you say you want it; if you want those red soles as much as you say you want it; if you want that architectural digest home as much as you say you want it.

Bisoux and talk soon๐Ÿ˜˜

Grateful to be another year older.

โ€œGratitude turns what we have into enough.โ€ โ€“

Anonymous

A few days ago (October 10th) I turned 33, I mean 43๐Ÿ˜‹. Oh my, how time flies! Usually at this time of year, when my birthday comes around I’d be depressed, wondering why am I allowed to continue such unaccomplished, failed-to-meet-every-expectation-set-by-my-parents’ life. But this time, something different happened: I got tired of bashing my own damn self; it finally dawn upon me that well, 43 years has passed and another 10 may very well passed and find me still bashing myself for reasons that sometimes don’t even make sense.

โ€œEnjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.โ€ โ€”Robert Brault

What I am about to say may sound clichรฉ to the point of possibly making you puke but clichรฉs do hold a lot of truths. So I realized (I mean I always knew but somehow it never fully clicked until now…) a few things:

I am never going to be as young (and foolish๐Ÿ˜‹) as I am now. Now, later on I might be better, look better but one thing for sure: I’ll never be 43 again.

Of course when you think about it this way I do wonder why in the hell have I not been celebrating all year long instead of waiting to the very end and get all mushy and grateful. But such is the human condition (mom, is that you speaking?๐Ÿ™„); sometimes I think our sole mission on earth as humans is to turn this simple thing called life into something so complex we can barely make it through.

in Dale Carnegie’s book How to make friends and influence people, there’s a chapter titled: Would you take a million for what you have? Whenever I feel a bout of ungratefulness coming up I make it a point to do this little exercise; I ask myself: If somebody were to give me a million for, say my beautiful eyes, would I take it? Would I exchange what I currently have for what I think I may not have or might have missed? Of course not! This simple exercise helps me put things into perspective and realize I have more than enough.

Now I am not sure if I’ll feel the same way once I hit 80! I can only hope to be lucky enough to hit that milestones with a full head of hair, great health and the people I love besides me!

Growing old can be a blessing if don’t insist on being a martyrโ˜บ๐Ÿ˜‹

On aging…gracefully or not…

“We all have that one person who insists on telling us the truth when itโ€™s clear a good lie would do just fine. For me this person is my husband…”

Picture this. Itโ€™s Sunday, I am planning some content for Instagram and I trying to decide on the hash tags to apply to my posts in terms of age bracket.

Me: โ€œWell, letโ€™s see…I can put a #Over35Style# on that pic…โ€

Husband: โ€œBut youโ€™re closer to 45….โ€

Me: โ€œThank you for reminding me and your point is?๐Ÿ˜’โ€

Husband: โ€œDonโ€™t you think itโ€™s a bit misleading?โ€

Me: “How is it misleading๐Ÿ™„? Itโ€™s not like I am a snake and my profile pic shows a sheep or something?!โ€

He took one look at me and surely must have perceived the danger of starting a quarrel with an aging woman this early in the morning. Unless of course, he simply does not care about ruining his entire day.

Husband: โ€œWell, I just think you should be proud ofย your age…โ€

Me: “Well, I think I am. I am soon to be 42 and I am not in therapy for it,
arenโ€™t I?โ€

Dear husband: โ€œSoon to be 43…โ€

Me: โ€œOk, 43! If you want to be this petty๐Ÿ™„….โ€

But letโ€™s get serious for a moment…๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

ย What is it with women and aging? Why is it such a turmoil? Is there something in the way society at large view aging women? Is it because we feel invisible past a certain age? Is it because, us women are vain little creatures who insist on being the centre of attention even when way past our prime?

What about you guys? How do you feel on the subject? Comment below!

If you like this article please share and subscribe!

A new addition to the family

We haveย  a new addition to the family and her name is Rhubarbe! This is of course without counting my niece’s dogs (See how cute they areย here )

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Dear followers, just know you barely escaped a gender reveal. Of course, to make up for that expect the next blog posts to be flooded with pics of Rubarbe #Shamelessnewparents#

Now you may think to yourself, why did they (I meant “Me”) have to go and name the first addition to the family after a comestible plant๐Ÿ™„? Well, just know the poor dog came this close to be named “Cinnamon” (“Cannelle” in French)! Plus dear hubby owed me one. You see, “Cinnamon” was supposed to be the name of our first future daughter but when I dared to “suggest” the name to dear husband, here’s what happened:

Me: “If we ever have a daughter, I have a perfect name”!

Hubby: “Yeah…?”

Me: “Cinnamon”

Hubby: “Over my dead body.”

Me: “Why?!!” (I was sincerely disappointed๐Ÿ˜”)

Hubby: “I believe it’s one ofย  the top 10 hooker names…๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ซ.”

Me: “Oh!!??…But we can still…”

I was abruptly interrupted.

Hubby: “Like I said…over my dead body.”

I let it go…this time…BUT as a true female of my specie, I was waiting for him around the corner where he least expected it so as soon as it became sure we were gonna be parents to a dog I came back full force and I said: “Well, since you don’t want me to call our future daughter “Cinnamon”, I get to name the dog!”. The poor man was trapped so he agreed (more like gave up). It was between “Cinnamon” and “Rhubarbe” but since apparently, according to dear husband, it was the year of the “R” (names starting with “R”) for dogs, “we” (I”” ๐Ÿ˜‰) named her “Rhubarbe”

#When you”re cute and you know it๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜

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“When you’re cute and you know it!๐Ÿ˜Ž”

Isn’t she cute? My work is still not done because they’re already ganging up on me. I guess it’s a father-daughter thing, eh?๐Ÿ˜œ

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Of course most of my time is spent trying to figure out ways to get her to love me more๐Ÿ˜‚

Like I said expect to be flooded with cute pics!

Bisoux and talk soon!๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

Why I started wearing more colour

“When my mom who’s pure Haitian noticed I was wearing nothing but black and white in most of my pics, she inquired (with great worry) if somebody has just died.”๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฃ

Most times when I am getting ready in the morning, I’ll usually have this kind of convo with dear husband:

Husband: “You should wear more colour’. Colour suits you so well”

Me: (silently pulling out my all black outfit with hints of grey as accent colour. All of this with a smirk on my face.)

Husband: “Hello..Did you hear what I just said?!”

I took some time to answer since I was trying to put that in plain language so he can understand๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Ž. When you’re forced to explain elevation to the masses.๐Ÿ™„

Me:”I know what I am doing. You see, black and white automatically looks more polished, more put together, more…expensive…”

Husband: (shakes head heavily, face heavy with sadness): ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Me: “I don’t expect you to understand, of course….”

Husband: “Right…it’s best to look like a debt collector…but then again what do I know? I am only just a man after all…”

Me: “See…you’re getting there!”

00100sPORTRAIT_00100_BURST20190121104447746_COVER
“A pic of me practising colour therapy and looking absolutely stunning doing it”๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜

If I am honest though, he’s not the only one to tell me that. I remember one time talking to my mom and she said the exact same thing but in an extremely concerned tone:

Mom (๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿฅบ): “Faye (that’s my nickname), are you all right? Is there something going on?

Me (๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ) : ” I am fine, mom. Where does this come from??!”

Mom: “Well, most pics I see of you, you’re only wearing black and white like somebody just died. What’s wrong?”

Me: “What?!!?” ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Naturally, I tried explaining to her that black and white looks more expensive. I could hear her exasperation over the phone as she replied: “

Mom: “Would you please stop attracting bad things to you by wearing nothing but black and white and all those pale colours that make you look like you died just a few hours ago”.

Me: “But mom…”

Mom: “Enough of this! Makes you look like you’re about to cross over into the unknown!”

Parents just don’t understand, eh?๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ I laughed my head off.

In Haiti, people mostly wear black when somebody dies. In times of mourning, it’s not unusual for people to wear black and nothing but black for a certain period of time as a way to cherish someone close who’s died.

You know, thinking back, there was real concern in her voice, like she was really worried and it cracks me up. I spent that day thinking about how certain colours can be perceived in certain cultures and I find that very interesting.

That’s probably why, last year, I made a conscious effort to add more colours to my wardrobe and let me tell you, I am already a changed woman, if I do say so myself๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜‹.

What about you guys? Have you been dragged like myself into wearing more colour or did you just wake up one day and decided to add more colour to your wardrobe? Let me know in the comments below.

Bisoux and don’t forget to like, share and subscribe so you can know what I am up to (#shamelessplug๐Ÿ™„)๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

 

 

We often underestimate people closest to us

We often underestimate people closest to us because well, we live with them! We’ve seen them weak, temporary insane and more. In other words we’ve seen them in all of their glory which is not always a good thing. It happens to me all the time. My husband will try to give me a bit of advice which is sound by the way and I would barely listen and always have something to say or worse intensely nod while thinking about a pair of sunglasses I’ve been thinking of buying. Hence the snippet of convo below:

Me: “Two more pimple on my chin. Great!”

Hubby: “You should lay off the make-up for a while, you know, let your skin breathe.”

Me: “How would you know? No offence but I’m definitely not about to listen to someone with a one-step skincare routine telling me what to do with my skin.”๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Hubby: “Well, maybe that’s why my skin looks so good…”๐Ÿ˜

He obviously has a point so I leave the room quickly in order to save face.

Two seconds later…

I hop on you tube and some random chick says to go without makeup for a while to let your skin breathe….๐Ÿ™„

Me (go find hubby and announce with great pride): “You know, after watching (insert random You Tuber name here), which I follow by the way (Couldn’t exactly tell him I’d just picked up this ‘life saving tip’ from a random You Tuber), I think it’s important to let my skin breathe…so I’ve decided to go without makeup… at least on weekends…๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Ž”

Hubby: “??!!?๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคข!?”

Of course, I leave the room as quickly as I entered because I just realized what I’ve done. I usually let an hour or so pass before making any sort of eye contact…๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‰.

But then again he does it too and this is something I’ve come to accept as part of growing old with someone. Still, I think it’s important to realize when it’s being done and call each other out which dear husband does very well by the way.

Do you do that too with people close to you? Let me know in the comments and don’t forget to like or share this post!

Bisoux and talk next week๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

THINGS I’VE DONE TO AVOID DEALING WITH REAL LIFE PROBLEMS

In this week’s episode of things I’ve done to avoid dealing with real life problems…

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“The following could easily be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?”

 

First, let’s weed out the “tackle it now” crowd with a couple of meaningful questions๐Ÿ˜‰.

Has your shit hit the fan and people are dropping like dead flies but somehow you still can’t smell it?

Do you routinely give advice you don’t even know how to apply in your own damn life?

Do you look like you always have your shit together even when you’re basically walking around in a deep state of coma?

If so I have a list of small changes that you’re gonna love. These are things I’ve personally done instead of tackling real life problems. Thank me later.๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ

  1. Shaving my head hoping it’ll uncloud my judgement๐Ÿ™„. The minute all my hair’s gone I morph into a puddle of regret, despair and bad decisions.
  2. Make a five-year plan for my husband hoping he’ll make it big and I, yours truly, can finally shop all day. Conniving and delusional…an unbeatable combination, if you ask me ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜
  3. Call my niece and give her “life advice” I myself never practice. Luckily for me she’s a very polite young lady: She just answer the call two weeks later.
  4. Go shopping with money I don’t have hoping a new look will give me a new outlook on life. It’s all about “investing in yourself”…you know…new look, new attitude…๐Ÿ˜”
  5. Paint my nails a bright colour hoping it’ll bring clarity and direction into my life.
  6. Revisit a 5-year plan and pretend it’s a brand new one. Well, technically yes, since I don’t remember doing any of it.๐Ÿ˜
  7. Call a long time bestie and speculate on the meaning of life without ever mentioning any action plan. We usually finish by rounding up the usual suspects: our parents.

Of course, all of this could be filed under “new low” BUT is it really a low when you know upfront how low you’re willing to go?

Now that you know all my secrets, I hope you won’t mind sharing yours๐Ÿ˜›. Go on and share! I won’t tell!

Gros bisous and talk soon!๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

Things I do to avoid writing on the blog๐Ÿ™„

In my blogging journey, I’ve had days when I was so excited to write a blog post my hands could barely keep up with my thoughts. I’ve also had days when I’d gladly chose to be a loser for the rest of my life than sitting down at my computer and write a simple blog post.ย  So I thought I’d give you a glimpse into my “thought process” or the lack of it when inspiration and motivation have left the building without as much as a fair warning.

In this week’s episode of things I’ve done still doing to avoid writing on this blog๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™„

  • Call a long time bestie to discuss the latest skin care hacks and compare notes. Believe it or not beautiful, shiny skin can and will make you look more successful than you actually are…thank me later๐Ÿ˜Ž
  • Review my vision board and double-check if having a blog really fit into my plan for my life๐Ÿง
  • Nag my husband about something that happened way before we even met and hold him personally responsible. Unbelievable, I know…Dear husband has recently stopped falling for that one. Now he patiently wait until I finish rambling, opens my computer, pulls out a chair and instructs me to start writing ASAP.๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ
  • Paint my nails a bright colour to get in a “writing mood” except nail painting is usually closely followed by full-face makeup plus a couple of YouTube videos on how to “sort out your life”. At this point I am officially down the rabbit hole and there is no turning back…ever.๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿคช
  • Wake up at 5:00 o’clock specifically to write but first start by watching a movie to relax. Promptly fall asleep and wake up just in time for work.๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿคค
  • Make myself a coffee. Once coffee’s ready, realize I really want a latte. Makes latter and go watch 30 minutes of something…anything…
  • Go through contact list and see who I haven’t called in a while and promise myself I’d start writing as soon as I give them a call. By the time I am done, it’s night time.
  • Briefly check the same Instagram account to see if anything has changed since the last time I checked which is probably half a second ago.
  • Write a list of things to do that should have been done 10 years ago.
  • And the list goes on….

Of course while I am doing all this dear husband is patiently observing and trying to gauge when I might exactly…finally…start writing that long-awaited blog post until of course he loses patience and instructs me to start writing now.

As you can see no stone is left unturned in the war against productivity.

Now that you know all my top tips for the most unproductive day, I hope you won’t mind sharing some of the stuff you do to avoid doing things that you know you have to do. Please do share! Bisoux๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ

 

 

 

Quarantine: The weight gain is real!

“If this quarantine doesn’t end soon, I may need a second quarantine to sort out my weight.”

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To all the people who knew me pre-quarantine, don’t be surprised if you fail to recognize me post-quarantine.๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ

Last week, knowing I was probably gonna be working mostly from home, I made a very serious eating plan for quarantine life. The kind of plan you make when you have no intention of sticking to any plan: Drastic and vague (No point writing a book about it since we’re not gonna do it, right?).ย ย 

Like I said: Drastic like “I vow to stay away from all carb from now on and eat extremely healthy however long this quarantine may last”๐Ÿ™„. Of course no precision was given on what I was going to eat to achieve this lofty goal of mine. Why? Because a clear list of food would have made me realized the real cost of my outsized ambition so instead I decided to feed my delusions.ย 

In fact, right after I made that wonderful plan I came home to this:ย 

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Turns out dear husband went grocery shopping and brought home three packs of bagels (shown in the pic above) plus a boatload of croissants (not pictured here since we ate it so fast that by the time this article was written, there was none left!).

“It’s clear dear husband did not get the memo of us munching on celery sticks while sipping lemon water. He’s on a different program. The carb overdose program.”

Imagine starting your quarantine with a boatload of croissants and bagels? It literally felt like a set-up. The croissants only lasted three days. The logic being the sooner we ate it all the sooner we’ll get to go back to our diet. I am not proud of us people, I am definitely not proud of us. To tell you the truth, I feel like I am in the backseat of a speeding car with a dead driver at the wheel.

If this quarantine doesn’t end soon, how am I going to explain all the weight gain? Well, if it’s any consolation most people are going to gain weight. I suppose I could become the only person who refuse to leave quarantine due to weight gain.

As proof, an excerpt of a recent convo with dear husband:

Me: “Oh my God! Look at that pic I just took of myself. I feel like I doubled in size!”

Dear husband: “Yeah…you definitely gained…”

At this point, my eyes are like daggers pointed directly at him. Only a person with foot in mouth syndrome like dear husband would ignore the silent warnings…

Me: “My belly is determined to go North while my butt insist on going South.”

Dear husband: “Yeah, you’re sticking out in all directions..”

The double-headed snake!๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ

The nerve of that man! He’s the one who went grocery shopping for “healthy stuff” and came back with a boatload of croissants and 3 packs of bagels. The thing is though, he’s close to 6 ft tall and I am only 5’2 so the risk of me looking like a can of tuna is getting very real. But then again with this quarantine stuff, the low mood and lack of motivation is real…

Bisoux and keep your social distancing!

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