Covid-19: The difficulty of remaining civilized…

Whether you’re a Zen master or a messy ball of stress,  the current Covid-19 climate does get to you little by little…

Me and my husband went to Costco a few weeks ago and were shocked to see people behaving with a complete absence of logic and humanity, grabbing everything they can get their hands on. We looked at them like a Zen master would a worrying wart: with love and a heavy dose of pity; just like someone who’s found the light would look at a person still scraping in the dark. We are different I thought to myself. We are civil. Or so I thought…

“It’s very difficult to remain civilized when competing for the last loaf of bread with people who think they’re out on a supply run in a walking dead episode…”

First of all, just as usual, we went to grab a shopping cart. There were none. After careful observation, we had to accompany a person with a loaded cart to their car, wait for them to unload it while throwing menacing glances around to discourage anyone to try and grab it before us.

Once inside, we were shocked to see empty rows on empty rows of food while people could barely push their overloaded carts around. I deeply resent the fact that we had to rush in an uncivilized manner to grab the last loaf of bread before someone with a cart full of bread could grab it. This enlightened Libra is still under shock. Let me tell you: It’s  very difficult to remain civilized when competing for the last loaf of bread with people who think they’re out on a supply run in a walking dead episode. In case you’re wondering, we did our best to calmly rush (if it’s even possible…) to essentials without giving the impression we’re lifetime members of the “toilet paper- crazy group”.

“This gives way to an essential question: How long is it possible to keep our civility and humanity during such time of crisis?”

If walking dead is any indication. Not long…but I am sure it won’t get to that point..

In the meantime, let’s try and stay isolated, hydrated and civilized! Gros bisoux!

Staying positive in this COVID-19 mess

In the current climate of COVID-19 hell, lets do our part to stay positive by not only following health guidelines but also thinking bright summery thoughts. I stay positive by thinking happy summer thoughts and looking at things that makes me happy however temporary. Among those things are jewelry. I like to mix and match and stack them up depending on my mood. For this post my inspiration is my mother-in-law.

Nobody can do a stack up like dear mother-in-law. She is French after all.

Let’s focus on whatever makes us happy until the storm passes! Bisoux!

 

4 Spring/Summer statements accessories that pack a punch!

Spring is practically around the corner and I am so so happy it’s finally coming. I have been feeling a bit low due to the almost constant bad weather But now that the sun is coming back I am feeling energized and full of hope and plans!

A favorite way of mine to welcome Spring and rush it in is to take a look at my past Spring/Summer style statements and see what elements I am looking forward bringing back.

SPRING/SUMMER STATEMENTS

BRIGHT NAIL POLISH AND STATEMENTS LENGTH NAILS

Sometimes the perfect nail polish and statements nails can be the best accessories. I’d do this combination again if I wasn’t so afraid of poking an eye out by simply scratching my face. You can read about it all  here: 5 things I will never understand

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BRAIDS: Those braids were a statement in themselves. Enough said.

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OVERSIZE SILVER/GOLD HOOP: These perfect oversize silver hoop can work better than a face lift!

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SOMETHING RED:

Finding the perfect red for your skin tone should be a lifelong quest lol. The perfect red worn close to your face can literally take 10 years off your face. Pardon my bitch face lol, I swear I was happy when I shot this!

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What about you dear readers? What’s your favorite way to welcome Spring? Please Share!

THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE LANGUAGES

“Don’t treat people how you yourself would like to be treated, treat people how they themselves want to be treated. There is a big difference…”

What is love? Love means different things for different people for sure. We all have different ways of showing and receiving love. I suppose it all boils down to love language. To me love is action. I can see it’s the same for my husband as well except we take different actions to show we care. I have noticed people have a tendency to express love the same way they would like it expressed towards them.

“I’d say my love language is pretty simple…I inspire meaning I am your muse.

As a muse the contract is simple: You’ll do all the work and I’ll take all the credit.”

When I love someone I tend to see them in their best light. The problem with leaving under a constant “best light” is that falling short is always around the corner. Sooner or later all gods begin to show their human sides.  My kind of love is:

  • I direct, encourage and grow. Sounds like a an agent, I know. I believe it’s my duty to advise people closest to me. If that sounds like a high-priestess of hype forgive me, I am a Libra after all…🙄
  • I protect by making sure no one takes advantage of or abuse the people I love except myself if course😜. My husband calls it “isolation tactics”😂.
  • I multiply by encouraging you to be the best that you can be meaning you won’t have a moment of peace until you go for that promotion…. just like I instructed told you.
  • And last but not least I inspire which means I am your muse for better or worse and as a muse, the contract is simple: you’ll do all the work and I’ll get all the credit. Which maybe why dear husband usually calls himself my “appointed caregiver”.💅🐍

My husband’s love language

He likes to do things to make my life easier and to make me feel taken care of. That may mean picking me up at the bus station so I don’t have to take the bus when it’s awfully cold. It can be preparing a nice meal or getting me something I might have expressed a desire for. As you can see this man’s love is fully grounded in the practical. Which makes you wonder about my own love language…but like I said I am his muse, right?😜💅

In the end it’s about loving a person the way they want to be loved and appreciated.

What about you dear readers, do you think love languages are important in relationships? Is it important to understand each other’s love language within a relationship? Please do share. Bisous and talk soon!🐍😘

The high cost of being the bigger person

The high road and all the things in between…

“The problem with being the bigger person is over time, you really do become a bigger person….you basically become fat. Why? Cause you’re so busy trying to one-up mother Theresa on the throne of goodness and light you just don’t realize your emotions have been eating you up the whole time.”

Spoken like a professional “bigger person”.

The past few weeks have been really stressful. I usually like to view myself as the eye of the storm, the peaceful warrior, a classy person, a lady, the person with the bright smile under pressure. Unfortunately, this fabulous bubble I usually like to build around myself was violently busted. I found myself being hurried, busted and wait for it…SWEARING😱…yes, swearing all the freaking time. Which makes me think a lot of behaviors we’ve come to consider as character traits are in fact products of our environment. Last week I found out it’s very difficult to remain a lady when dealing with shitheads (here we go again swearing🙄) over an extended period of time.

“Put yourself often enough in other people’s shoes and pretty soon even your own shoes won’t fit. So stay in your own damn shoes!”

I was discussing a particular stressful situation I am currently experiencing with an acquaintance of mine and he advised me, if I can, to take the high road and try and buy some peace for the time being. It was good, sensible advice except sometimes peace may end up costing you way more than a full-on war would.

“Take the high road they say…be the bigger person they say…Over the years I’ve realized the high road is not all accolades and bright lights. In fact, the high road is full of hair loss,  tooth decay, cystic acne, wrinkle and bitterness.😓”

Spoken by a person who can’t seem to get off the high road…

In life we do a lot of things for a lot of reasons. Sometimes these reasons are right and sometimes they’re wrong but whatever the reason, there’s always a cost and the cost of any action even small is life. With any action, life is either gained in terms of a fully, happier life or life is lost in terms of loss of quality of life, regrets, bitterness and sometimes even diseases. So before you try and be the next mother Theresa think carefully of the cost cause there is certainly a cost which I am pretty sure even mother Theresa had to pay. If you’re thinking of buying peace know that sometimes peace costs more than war. This was my two cents when it comes to being the bigger person and all the stuff in between…

After this civilized rant I can only hope I’ve helped a tiny bit in getting you ready for Monday by sending you guys out into the big bad world all selfish and petty:😏😼) Thank you for reading and talk soon! Gros bisoux!

The best time to say I love you

“Love is like success, it may appear magical and liberating but there is hard core, soul-breaking work hiding right behind it. Most of us are shocked when we discover the true meaning of love. Disney clearly lied to us.🙄😡”

Valentine’s Day is that time of year when people with great difficulties expressing feelings find themselves at great peril of being coerced into uttering these three little words: “I love you”. Some people say you have to mean it to say it. Some say you have to deeply feel it to say it. Some say you have to wait for one person to say it and only then can you say it.🤔🙄

Is there a “best” time to say I love you? Personally, when in a stable relationship, I prefer to say I love you:

  • Early mornings right after waking up or late at night just before going to bed. This way I can not be held responsible if my actions fail to match these three little words later in the day🙄. 
  • At the airport, during the last boarding call, this way one of us won’t be here (at least for a couple of days) to live up to these three magic little words. Or better yet by the time we’re together again we can act like nothing happened.😏

All jokes aside, when  it comes to saying “I love you”, there are a few things I’d like to emphasize: 

  • First of all, me think there should be deadlines involved. You can’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to express their “feelings”. You could say something like: “if by next Valentine’s day I don’t hear these magic words, don’t call me even if you’re  bleeding on the floor and 911 is not answering😜🐍”. Sounds a bit extreme, I know but you get the idea…
  • “I love you” should automatically come with some kind of promise or commitment. If you don’t hear some kind of promise or commitment after these words don’t believe them. I repeat do not believe them. I also suggest you nicely and respectfully threaten I mean discuss “the possibilities of giving each other space to process the next step of the relationship“. And don’t just threaten them any day. Threaten them on special days like Valentine’s and your birthday, the anniversary of your first date together, first movie, first ice cream cone, whatever, you get the point.😜🐍 Do not beg. I know it’s not easy to do especially when that biological clock is hanging heavy down one’s neck…but do try.
  • Now after hearing all this you must be asking say yourself “What about love?”. Well what about it? Let me tell you love is like success, it may appear magical and liberating but there is hard core, soul-breaking work hiding right behind it. Most of us are shocked when we discover the true meaning of love. Disney clearly lied to us. 😡💃

What about you, dear readers? What do you think of the whole thing? When do you think it best to say “I love you”?. Should there be deadlines when it comes to saying “I love you”? Should it come with some type of commitment or promise? Please share your thoughts!

Gros bisoux and don’t forget to enjoy valentine’s day! Talk soon!🐍😜

What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done?

What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done? Were you shocked, impressed or simply disgusted?

“Some things can only be explained by silence or absence. So I chose to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new version that does not quite match his expectations 🙄

We all have things we do that seem “normal” to us but may appear “weird” to someone else. Especially when you’re living in close quarters with that much desired other half. Every Little thing you do gets examined and questioned🙈. It’s almost like living with a two-year old who’s always full of questions🙄.

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I must say even though I may look perfect I too have some “weird thing” in my closet. Hard to believe I know, since I am just so damn perfect most of the times😇.

I actually remember my husband’s exact face the first time he came face to face with that not so stellar version of me. We were having supper as we usually do most nights while watching some kind of TV show. For us super is usually chicken or fish plus a  salad. That time it was chicken and salad.  We’d just finished demolishing most of a whole chicken when, true to my single-years self, I naturally started chewing on the chicken bones (specifically the thigh bones):

Me: (at this point I am not talking but sounds of chicken bones being crushed and chewed can be heard)🙈

Dear other half: (Not talking at this point either. Staring at me intensely probably both shocked and mesmerized that such small and dainty creature is doted with such strong jaws).

Me: (For those of you interested, the whole process can be a very consuming enterprise. At this point, I am literally in the zone…)

Dear other half: (Still staring at me intensely, still a tiny bit shocked but mostly fascinated.)

Me: (Finally realizing I am not alone):” Are you ok honey?”

Dear other half: “…is it a cultural thing??!!?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Dear other half: “Chewing chicken bones into powder form?!….”

Me: “Well, I…”

He was looking at me like someone who’s just been forced to realize his idol was not only human but a human with questionable behaviour 🧐. I didn’t know what to stay. How do you explain something like that? I couldn’t even explain this to my own damn self even if I wanted to.

Me: “hmmm…yeah…you may be onto something here… Could totally be a cultural thing…”

Dear other half: (still waiting for a logical explanation that’s clearly not coming).

Me: “Well, let me take the plates upstairs so we can have more room here…

Some things can only be explained by either silence or absence so I decided to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new idea of his lovely little wife crushing chicken bones with a vengeance and purpose that would put a horror movie flesh-eating creature to shame. Like he said it could be a cultural thing….who knows?

What about you dear readers? What’s the weirdest thing you or your other half has ever done? Did it change your idea of them? Please do share!

Don’t miss tomorrow’s post on “The best time to say I love you in honor of Valentine’s day! Gros bisoux 😘🐍