Ensuring your happiness: Asking for what you want

”…If there was ever an Oscar for insisting on telling me what I absolutely don’t want to hear, I believe my family members would win it.’

I believe in establishing protocols for recurring activities, especially when other people are involved and by other people I specifically mean family members.

Why? Well, because this group of people tend to be high risk meaning they have the tendency of telling the thruth combined with a very low tolerance for bullshit. If there was ever an Oscar for insisting on telling me what I absolutely don’t want to hear, I believe my family members would win it. This can be grating long term, especially in days when I really need to be happy. Which can explain why I usually go to great pain to establish some kind of protocol when dealing with the special people in my life.

Situation no 1:

When Me and hubby are watching TV.

Context: So we are watching some random TV show and a super hot chick shows up in a random scene. My jealousy gets the best of me and I start bashing her (I know I should take the high road but I just can’t seem to, so I am allowing myself to wallow in despicable behaviours).

Me: ”Oh my God she is way too skinny….”

The hypocrisy! Considering I just can’t seem to lose these last pesky 10 5 pounds and the said woman is pretty perfect.

Husband: ”Complete silence

Me: ”She’s too muscular….”. Did you hear what I just said?

Hubby: ”I did! What do you want me to say?”

Me: ”Well, let’s see…you could start by saying that she is way too skinny and that I am hotter than she’ll ever be.”

Hubby: ”You’re kidding, right?”

Me: ”Okay, new protocol alert: When a super hot girl shows up on the screen and I bash her, you have to reassure me and bash her in equal measure…if not more.”

Hubby: ”Are you serious!!!?? You’re impossible!”

Me ”But you love me, don’t you?”

Hubby: ”Yes, honey, you’re the most beautiful woman on the planet and I do love you”.

Me: ”I am touched! Thank you honey, I love you too ”.

Situation no 2

I am out shopping with my beloved ”foot-in-mouth husband”.

Context: The sun is shining and I am feeling lucky. I am at one of my favourite stores and I am grabbing stuff for the changing room. Of course, I only pick medium sizes (I used to be a size small but lately being human just won’t let me go back to that sizeOf course, if you ask my husband, he won’t stick to that story).

By now I am heading to the changing room and start trying stuff on. Dear husband, ever the good Samaritan, comes running all helpful and hands me some sizes.

Hubby: ”Here honey!”

Me: ”But these are all large sizes…”

Hubby: ”Yes, I know, just in case….”

Me: ”Oh you mean just in case I forgot I was fat?

As you can see the poor man can’t win here.

Hubby: No, no, it is just that sometimes a larger size may look better!

Of course, like most people whose sole desire is to do good, he is forced to explain himself as if doing good demanded an explanation of some sort. But we all know in the real world, doing good comes with heavy consequences....

Me: :Well, I am not here to look better, I am here to feel better…”

Hubby: ”What? But?”

Me: ”Quick memo: when I am in the changing room, you are only to bring me sizes ranging from small to medium and nothing else.”

His eyes ran quickly up and down the dress I was trying. And yes, I was spilling out of it.

I stared at him for a long, long time and took a very deep breath.

Me: ”And yes, I don’t care if I look like an overstuffed sausage.”

The man seemed lost and I don’t blame him. But sometimes feeling better is more important than looking better. Don’t you agree?

So like I was saying if you want to be happy, you have to ask for it, you have to let them know how you like it. Nobody can read your mind and even if somebody could, they wouldn’t because people are naturally self-centered.

What about you, dear readers? Please tell me I am not the only who does that or I’ll feel like a self-centered little person.

Thank you for passing by and Bisoux.

What is your workout personality?

Back in the days when I was young, I used to insist on suffering through grueling workouts thinking the most important thing was to get result. I would love to report that with age I’ve finally realized the nonsense of it all but no, I am still the same, hence, this previous post: Workout that delivers: 30 min hit.

“In fact, there’s nothing I hate more than wasting an hour at the gym moving around like a chicken in labor.”

My husband is the contrary. As proof, one of our many, annoying “discussions” on the subject:

Me: “Well, honey have you joined the gym class you were talking about?”

Hubby: “No, I have a couple of friends who want to join so I am waiting for them?”

Me: “Why? You don’t have to wait for your friends. Go ahead and enroll. They can join later if they want.”

He looked at me like you would a vicious water snake.

Hubby: “No, it is more fun in group!”

Me: “This is exercise. Not a summer picnic!”

He chose not to answer. Naturally, nothing gets me going more than hubby not answering. So I pressed on, thinking falsely that victory is near.

Me: “Plus, when you go with people you have to be nice, you have to make conversations, say hi and bye and inquire about them even if you don’t give a damn. And then when you’re done you can’t just disappear you have to let them know even at the risk of having some of them follow you all the way to the bus station just because they’re going the same direction.” (Insert rolled eyes emoji here).

This time he sincerely looked puzzled. I could actually hear his brains cells trying to process that last piece of info. Had I said the same thing on a first date, I probably would have never heard from him ever again. The last time he was this shocked was when he realized house chores were not my forte.

When he finally answered. It looked like this:

Hubby: “I see…when was the last time you showed up at your “favorite” kickboxing class?”

The double-headed snake!!! Trying to get back at me for helping him get results. I felt betrayed and vindicated because, well, he was right! I couldn’t even begin to answer that question even if I wanted because truth is, it is been a long, long time I have set foot in that class. It was clear I wasn’t going to win round.

Me: “Well, for your information, I am planning on going back next week…..(insert head in sand emoji here).”

Hubby: “I see…but wait! Didn’t you say the same thing last week?”

Most people would have taken this as a sign they lost the battle but not me. Being a Libra, I am predisposed to ignore signs of danger in the pursuit of enlightening others. It ain’t over until I make a fool of myself. Please, don’t judge me. Some would call me a sore loser. Well, one person did. It was dear husband.

Me: “Touche! Well, you do whatever you want. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

This sentence must have been uttered by every sore loser on the planet while they are lamely scurrying away for cover. While I was trying to digest my burning defeat, the cold-hearted man finished me with that last sentence.

Hubby: “Well, I have no interest in self-torture so if you’ll excuse me I’ll go and play some video game.”

As you can see if dear husband is not having a lot of fun while exercising and I mean a whole lot of it, he won’t do it. Which brings me to workout personality. I know for myself when it comes to working out, if I am not suffering, I am not happy. I don’t feel like I am working out if I am not sweating like a pig. If I am not bitching before a training session, I am not happy either. In fact, there is nothing I hate more than wasting an hour at the gym moving around like a chicken in labor.

Of course, the downside of that is I don’t show up if I don’t feel like 100 percent, which would explain why I’ve been missing in action at the gym for weeks now. Not good. Not good at all. There may be a grain of truth in what the man is saying after all….

What about you dear readers? What’s your workout personality? How does it differ from people around you?

Don’t forget to share, like and comment this article to your heart content and talk soon!

Big love is fattening

They say love is two people looking in the same direction. I’ll add one more thing: love is two people steadily gaining weight together. If that’s the case me and hubby we are madly, terribly in love. We’ve been steadily gaining weight since our first encounter some four and half years ago and I have pictures to prove it.

This is me around the time I met my husband…..If you ask my husband I was just hungry and lonely, lol

imag1791

If you ask me this is the best I’ve ever looked. Skinny with no hair. Some haters would say I look like a boy about to hit puberty but I don’t care. While I was parading thinking I was the hottest thing since slice bread dear husband was desperate for me to put a bit of meat on those bones.

Our gaining weight together time line:

1) Our second date…as you can see I dressed to impress…

IMAG1796

2) Our first Christmas together

IMG_20141231_194257

3) Hubby feeling himself…

img_20150116_172121

4) me feeling myself….

IMG_20150516_105737

5) and finally the end ….

IMG_20181231_202601

Well, well, well, I’d say we’re busting out of happiness:) we have to keep it in check so if you’re in a relationship and you’re now double your weight consider yourself happy! It is understoodย  that we must do something soon or we wont make it to our 10 year anniversary.