“…Being a woman is worse than being a farmer – There is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturized, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscle exercised. The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature – with a full beard and handlebar mustache on each shin….”
Currently reading Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones’ diary and I almost died of laughter when I read that quote.
How many times have we, as women, asked ourselves the same question as Bridget? I have often felt as if I am fighting a losing battle in which my body hair holds all the winning cards. In fact, when it comes to body hair my husband and I often have these type of conversation:
Husband: “Going to the doctor?”
Me: “No, why?”
Husband: “Well, your legs are smooth and you’re all shaved and everything…”
Me looking at him intensely trying to remember why I ever married in the first place.
Husband: “These days you only shave when going to the doctor.”
Me: “That’s a lie, I shave regularly!”
Husband: “Except in Winter… Are you trying to grow your own fur?”
Me: “Oh shut up!”
“…I just can’t help but associate laser hair removal with images of a possessed Light saber angrily swinging above my precious and very private body parts….”
At that point, since I wanted to remain married I chose to ignore the man. After all, being single again would undoubtedly mean — and this time around the clock — more waxing, shaving, tweezing and plucking than ever before just to get back in the saddle as quickly as possible.
But really why is body hair okay for men and borderline disgusting for women? When you stop and think for a second, it is actually pretty twisted to want a fully grown female body to be free of all body hair?
“When I think of all the time I spent plucking out every single hair off of my body, I could have easily earn another degree”
Of course I could also go the laser hair removal route but for some reason I just can’t help but associate laser hair removal with images of a possessed lightsaber angrily swinging above my precious and very private body parts…
Whatever reasons pushed us into such behavior in the past, I am sure it’s all over now. Still most of us keep plucking away. Why do we women keep doing this to ourselves? Do we do it because we think it’ll make us more attractive? Do we do it because it has been done for so long that it has now become the norm in our society? Do we do it to fit in? God forbid we’re part of the select group of women proudly sporting a mustache on the planet (Insert shivering outcast emoji here). I am quite sure culture also play a big part in the equation…..
The mystery remains said the woman who’s about to shave her legs and many other sensitive body parts for the millionth times…..
Hahaha! I love the Bridget Jones quote!
As for laser hair removal… in the very private parts, it does feel like shaving with a lightsaber. But the result is worth the pain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know this made me laugh so bad. I am afraid to think of what would happen if we left all of that go to seed lol. I have to stop begin such a chicken and give the laser one a try!
LikeLiked by 1 person