The F Files

This post was written because of this article that I read on the artsy teen blog. she listed 10 things that she will never understand and I thought it was so funny that I decided to do the same.

1. People who sports extremely long nails that make them look like Edward Scissorhands.

I mean why on earth would you incapacitate yourself? Actually the only way I can see these becoming handy is if you are in a fight with a werewolf or  you need to dig your own grave.

2) Why after criticizing those nails (see number one), I went ahead and got mine done the exact same way…to my defense, I did not do the full claw-like stiletto nails and only realized the ridicule of my situation once I got home. After just a few days of sporting these nails my respect for the girls who can get away with them grew exceedingly…I basically had to keep my hands very far away from my face for fear of accidentally poking an eye out.  At work, it felt like I was typing with two left foot and reading what I had typed you’d think I had typed the material drunk…BUT… my nails looked so glamorous that I fear I might be becoming…addicted…I know I am a sheep:)  Considering my style is more classy sporty than high maintenance snow queen I feel very conflicted about this revelation…Will I do them again? Yes!! Nothing saddens me more than to discover that i am not the person I thought I was….lol

(I swear I wasn’t trying to brag about my ring:) but while we’re on the subject, what do you think of my ring?:)

3) My husband’s excessive collection of remote controls and devices which are plugged into just ONE TV!!?? JUST ONE!!! This TV has more add-ons and plugins and whatnot than a person in intensive care! Even my niece who is technology-savvy failed to get it to work one time my husband was away and had to call him!?…One of the things that keep me sane though is knowing that on the main remote there’s a big button with a very big Netflix sign clearly written on it that I can just press without having to call for help. Without this big button I think my sanity would have been endangered

4) People who buy big TVs. You see…my plan, when I die, is to carry some of my favorite things in my coffin with me…I can hardly do that with a big TV, can I? My husband tried to compare his TV to a Hermes bag…are you kidding me? The sin of all sins…this should be included in the twelve commandments: “Thou shall not compare your big awful TV with the beautiful and timeless Hermes…Now drop and give me ten!” BUT…I think I may be becoming addicted to the big screens…I know I am a sheep:)

(Note from the Husband:”You can’t watch your favorite tv show on any Hermes bag and I don’t think you would be able to go back to your old fashioned CRT Tv 😉 “

5) People who wear extremely high heels. I can understand wanting to add a couple of inches to one’s height but to want to double it!!???…some of those heels are so outrageously high they should come with walking sticks and proof of disability insurance should be mandatory! Have you ever tried sharing a crowded sidewalk with a girl in very high heels in winter? I am not a murderer but I do feel like this could be an inciting event. So I’ve thought about it and I think that there should be a designated lane for people in high heels during rush hours so that mere mortals can get to work as fast as their low unsexy heels allow them to.